Well here’s something you don’t see everyday: a guy answering the 30 Days of Kink questions. I told my friend Sadey Quinn that I would follow along with her own postings and answer the questions too.
Now it’s time for me to pay the piper.
Some tough guy I am, eh? This is a lot harder then I anticipated. What the hell, and this may ramble some, but here goes (nobody reads this blog anyway)…
Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
My name is Trent Evans and I really, really dislike labels. What, I have to choose something? OK, fine. Dominant, I guess – but you could easily throw in Master, Sadist, spelunker, etc. OK, maybe not spelunker, but still, the labels bother me.
I will put it this way: I enjoy control. Controlling a submissive. Imposing my will on her. There, that’s crystallized enough, I think. I love both physical and psychological control. Here’s where the sadist streak in me comes into play: I am a lifelong spanko (giving, not receiving). Love it, in all its forms, from the simple hand to the cane. It’s all great, amazing. “Impact play” – eh, that term leaves me cold. Just call it spanking, paddling, caning, whatever – and people will immediately identify with it, love it or hate it.
Spanking is so tied up into physical and psychological control (not to mention emotions) that it is the quintessence of imposing your will on another. You make her feel that pain, feel that humiliation (if that’s part of what you’re after; it certainly interests me!), feel the arousal – you just make her feel. It’s as much a visual/tactile enjoyment as it is a psychological one. You tell her she’s to be spanked that evening, and you make her wait all day to find out how, where, with what.
You make her feel.
Trepidation, fear, arousal, pain, anticipation; her sensations and emotions are as important, if not more so, than getting to lay your hand all over her curvy ass as you spank her. There is little that’s more enjoyable in life than watching your sub orgasm, crying out, writhing in spite of, because of, the sensations you’ve made her experience. It’s something maybe only doms (or switches) understand. It’s even better than getting off yourself (not that that isn’t awesome or of paramount importance either). But breaking down her shields, making her surrender to sensation, making her face the real her – the basics of what makes her tick. That my twisted friends is control, and nothing is better. OK, that’s not quite true though, but “Doms/Masters/Sadists” aren’t supposed to say it in public. There is one thing better:
(Don’t let it get out that I said such a blasphemous thing.)
Maybe that’s getting too far into the whys of things, but there it is, straight from Trent.
You guys bored yet? Don’t answer that.
Now there are aspects of BDSM that I love that may not translate as well from fantasy into real life. Here’s a short list:
Sexual slavery? Awesome.
Humiliation? :::Pichard voice::: “Engage!”
Pony play? RAD.
Pet Play? Check.
I am fascinated, fascinated, by the concept of consensual non-consent. Think of it as consent by plebiscite, if you will. But I emphasize the consensual part of the equation. It absolutely has to be something she wants, and she has to choose it unequivocally – once.
Really, really difficult to pull off morally (or legally, really), but that one is straight from the darkest, fevered recesses of Trent’s fantasy bank. Probably TMI? Well TFB (too fucking bad).
I’m going to end the list there, because there is a lot more to it and I think the next 30 days will be better places to share some of this.
:::I can’t believe I am sharing this. I need a drink :::
What do you think? Shut up Trent? Or do you want to hear more?
Sadey Quinn says
Trent, this is excellent. Nicely done! 🙂 I knew I would enjoy hearing from your perspective.
Thanks Sadey. I’m glad somebody is reading this!
BTW – reading your 30 DoK Day 2. Holy shiznit! Gauntlet. Thrown. Down.
Sadey Quinn says
Why is it I can’t find anyone with those beliefs. I am anxiously awaiting your 30 days worth. If I have to live vicariously through text, so be it.
Thanks for reading and commenting Kristi. We’re out there, trust me 😉 You just have to tell the man you’re with what you really want – and don’t be afraid to come out and say exactly what you want. Guys aren’t known for being masters at picking up subtle signals. The guys who freak and run if you are honest about what you want weren’t right for you anyway. The ones that are will think they’ve died and gone to kink heaven!
Day 2 is coming very soon. Oh man, this is going to be…yeah 🙂
More. More. More. More. Please!
As one who is on the receiving end of that control…yes!!
I’m glad you’re reading and enjoying 😉 It’s been shall we say…freeing to me, putting this out there. The fact that it’s appreciated makes it even better. More to come very soon…
Check this out… http://themusingsofasub.wordpress.com/2012/04/16/day-2-in-my-30-days-of-kink/
This is someone else’s Day 2 30 Days of Kink that I really liked and then made it mine.
Here is where I made it mine…
I like the way it came out. It is pretty on the money, like your piece. (At least I think so.)
Thank you! I will be checking that out too. Always good to get a glimpse into the mindset of others – especially that of submissives.
I think you and I are going to become friends. It is just a hunch, but I am generally right about such things. Once you have read through some of my work you will understand what I mean. I, like you, am able to record life’s experiences with an honesty and brutality that grabs people. Yes, I do believe we will get along just fine. Very pleased to meet you. -Missy
I just sent you an email. The rest of the story…
Thanks Missy. Reading it now 🙂