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You are here: Home / Trent's Thoughts / 30 Days of Kink — Day 18

30 Days of Kink — Day 18

April 11, 2013 By Trent Evans

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Hmm, pet peeves. I’m not sure I’ve got anything that really irritates me per se, but there are a few things I see here and there that make me chuckle or shake my head.  Here they are in no particular order:

— Use of the verb “dominate” as a noun (presumably the person means a “Dominant” — e.g. “He’s a sexual Dominant.”). I see this all the time, but I assume most of the time that it’s simply a typo …

— Authors — or just people in general — who maintain that there is only one way (or their way) to do any number of kink activities. Kink is as varied as the people who practice it;  as long as it’s consensual, and all parties involved are enjoying it, there is no “wrong” way IMO. I accept and celebrate that diversity:)

— The mistaken impression that a BDSM author is somehow an expert or an authority on kink. While many BDSM authors are quite well-informed, and a significant number (including myself) self-identify as kinky, it does not make us experts. Most everything comes down to opinion, really. I do my very best with questions, but I’ve — more than once — found myself having to answer questions with “I’m not qualified to give you an opinion.” While I’d love to know the answer to every kink question, sometimes I just have to punt!

— The attempt to mainstream or homogenize kink in fiction makes me chuckle. At some point smoothing the rough/sharp edges renders “kink lite” to be unrecognizable as kink at all. That said, considering what I wrote about in point #2 … vive la différence!

I think that’s about it. I try not to get too worked up about things regarding kink (a change from my younger days), but I’m sure once I post this I’ll think of something I should’ve added:)

Until Day 19!

Best,

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, kink lite, kink mainstreaming, pet peeves, Trent Evans, writing

About Trent Evans

Trent Evans is an independent author of BDSM erotic romance and erotica. Putting pen to paper since he was a wee lad, he decided to try to share some of the tales cooked up in his fevered imagination. Some readers might not be horrified. He tries to write stories that appeal to both women and men (wow, threading the needle), but will follow wherever the story takes him.

A long-time resident of the Pacific Northwest, the author believes that the high percentage of authors in the region (compared to the nation as a whole) is chiefly due to the fact that it’s so damned wet and miserable all the time there. They tend to use their long hours cooped up inside making up stories that depict things they’ll never see or experience – such as sunshine.

Comments

  1. thedreamingsub says

    April 11, 2013 at 2:37 am

    Hi.

    • authortrentevans says

      April 12, 2013 at 4:39 am

      Welcome back, Missy:)

      • thedreamingsub says

        April 12, 2013 at 4:42 am

        I’ve been around. Trying to keep a low profile though.

        How are you?

        • authortrentevans says

          April 12, 2013 at 4:44 am

          Been great! Very busy, but so is everyone else. Glad to have you posting again.

          • thedreamingsub says

            April 12, 2013 at 4:48 am

            It’s good to hear from you too. Your new book piqued my interest.

  2. Sheri Savill says

    April 11, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Oh mercy, I have enough peeves to fill a book. Or two. Hey, I should *write* a book, someday, maybe. Oh wait, you mean peeves about KINK?! Nevermind then. Mine are pretty much just like yours; and you totally dominanted this post, IMO. Aheh.

    • authortrentevans says

      April 12, 2013 at 4:41 am

      Dominanting posts is what Dominates do, amirite?

      But seriously, I had to really try to think of some pet peeves — I didn’t realize I was quite THIS laid back about kink:)

  3. natashaknight says

    April 11, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    How about corporate punishment rather than corporal punishment? Spell check won’t catch that 🙂 Although if you work at Romancing the Kink, there’s some of both I hear…

    • authortrentevans says

      April 12, 2013 at 4:44 am

      OH I would have loved to have seen that — a totally RAD typo by the way.

      Most days at the RTK offices involve some amount of corporate punishment. The only real question is how much. On those unfortunate days where cover sheets for the TPS reports go missing …

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