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30 Days of Kink: Day 6

May 28, 2012 By Trent Evans

Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Define weirdest . A lot of what I’ve written thus far in my 30 Days of Kink (please check out the excellent blog Molly’s Daily Kiss for a list of the 30 Days) could certainly be construed as “weird”. For instance, I really like ponygirls; a lot of people think this is weird at best, crazier than a shithouse rat at worst. Oh well, it takes all kinds right? Let’s set aside weird  for now.

The most interesting fantasy of mine is the all-encompassing BDSM “world” or society. But there are two tracks to this world. In a practical, physical sense it would be a place where my kinks (and Lord, I have a lot of them) are part of the very fabric of everyday life.

Master/slave relationships (monogamous, poly, you name it) open and accepted by society? Check.

Ponygirl driven conveyances in place of cars, or slave-girls used as a muscle-powered source of motive force? Why not?

A political/legal/societal structure that inherently supports and incorporates BDSM? Uh, yes please.

In other words, this is a world I’d love to live in (as a Dom). I might have some reservations about it were I a sub – but many of them would love it anyway <evil grin>

The other track concerns the psychological and emotional underpinnings of this fantasy world. The ability to get into the head of a submissive/slave is, of course, fantasy. As much as I’d love it, I am not psychic nor telepathic. But this interesting fantasy world incorporates those aspects. There would be no safewords; the Master is in his slave’s mind. He knows what she feels, what she can take…and what she needs.

Her desires and fears; strengths and vulnerabilities – all would be open and available to him. He would use them to help her experience a life that us mere mortals stranded here in Mundania (loves me some Xanth…) could only dream about.

The thing is, while this is the most interesting of my fantasies,  it’s really not that weird or unusual. Parts of this fantasy have been explored by various authors:

Anne Rice (writing as A.N. Roquelaure) explored the idea of an entire fantasy society based on sexual slavery with the Beauty series.

Anneke Jacob, in what is probably my favorite single erotic work, Owned and Owner, depicts a society on another world far in the future that enshrines abject sexual slavery (no safewords here, let me tell you) in a very real, gritty, ground-level sense.

Sadey Quinn ably takes the reader on an intimate journey through a BDSM world within a world in her Rock Creek series beginning with Under Order.

Joey W Hill, perhaps better than any other erotic romance/erotica writer, gets into the psychological/emotional aspects of this fantasy with her Vampire Queen series.  She shows just a taste of what might be possible with the naked intimacy of a telepathic connection between the Dom and sub.

I cite these works as examples of some of the parts of this fantasy; there is of course more to it than this, but that would require taking a ride with gentleman Charon through the twisted Tarterus of Trent’s psyche (+1 alliteration!!). I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy;)

Nobody to my knowledge has combined all of these elements into a single work or story arc…yet. Perhaps I should get on that, yes?

Until Day 7!

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: BDSM society, Dominance and submission, Master/slave, no safeword, Owned and Owner, polyamorous BDSM, ponygirls, Rock Creek, secret BDSM world, sexual slavery, Sleeping Beauty trilogy, telepathy, Under Order, Vampire Queen series, Xanth

30 Days of Kink: Day 5

May 8, 2012 By Trent Evans

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? 

Hmm, I kind of accidentally shared my first officially kinky experience in Day 3 and 4. However, there was something that happened long before then that I can relate to you for Day 5. I am a little leery of sharing this, so I will need to self-censor this just a bit – sorry about that!

When I was quite young (19) I was, as many kids are, not fully aware with regard to the subject of my sexuality. It’s ironic that as a young man, I could think of little else, yet my thoughts on the subject were unfortunately marked by the facile shallowness of youth. I like to think I was a little deeper than my friends when it came to the subject, but how can one really know? It wasn’t like I asked my friends if they got off on tying up and spanking their girlfriends!

My girlfriend at the time (truly a sweetheart, who deserved better than me) and I were always playfully wrestling, physically grappling. I know that may seem weird to some, but I know for a fact lots of couples do this, whether they admit to it or not. It was cute, an excuse to have our hands all over each other (and a way for me to subconsicously relish imposing my physical will on her). Anyway, though she was a strong girl, I was far stronger than her, and these little impromptu grapplings would only ever have one end – unless I agreed to only use one arm. In those cases I’d still win, but it would take a lot longer:)

One night we were messing around while getting dressed to go somewhere and we started up again. She was particularly feisty, and I (of course) got into it as well. I had somehow ended up crossing her arms behind her back, my hands wrapped tightly around her upper arms. I remember us just standing there a moment, she struggling against my grip and me simply holding her still. Then I marched her forward and pinned her against the wall, she grunted but it wasn’t because I’d hurt her; I think it may have simply been surprise. Hell, I was surprised myself.

Instead of letting her go though, I just held her there pressed to the wall. Her roommate was getting ready to go out too, and she was in another bedroom not 10 feet away. Somehow that made things better, more…I can’t think of the word. Let’s say interesting. She struggled again and started to say something, but I shushed her letting go of an arm and laying two fingers over her mouth. She stood stock still, shocked I think. I’d never done such a thing before. I stood there a few more moments, pressed up against her, pinning her to the wall. I released her other arm and then moved her hands up the wall, placing them above her head as if she were reaching for the ceiling.

Now, at that point I was shocked too. What the fuck are you doing Trent? Reenacting some scene from Cops? So, dumbass kid that I was, rather than ponder some deeper meaning, I just thought with my cock. I liked this, whatever the fuck this was. So I just went with it. She was wearing jeans and a thin camisole (she hadn’t yet gotten a chance to put her shirt on before we threw down). I planted my palm between her shoulder blades and pressed her hard to the wall. She didn’t resist – not one fucking iota. Unreal.

Then I reached around her hips and pulled her toward me, which left her ass sticking out awkwardly toward me. I unbuttoned her jeans (god I love tight jeans on a woman, but I digress) and yanked them and her panties down to mid thigh. I fondled her ass, squeezing her buttocks, gently pinching the soft flesh of her inner thighs. I loved her ass, what can I say? Then I got another wild idea. I pushed her hips back against the wall with the rest of her, fitting my body closely to hers, grinding myself against her naked ass. Her partial nudity while I was fully clothed was something I liked, but at the time it didn’t really register. Then I reached around and pulled her camisole up, and she did the most shocking thing yet. She helped me. She actually pulled herself away from the wall as much as my pressing hand would allow, to allow me to pull that cami up and over her tits. I don’t know where her bra was; maybe she wasn’t planning on wearing one.

I pressed her up against the wall again, hard. She gasped at the coldness of the rough painted wall on her breasts, but otherwise made not a sound. I  leaned against her, urging her to rise up on her toes, to press herself as hard as she could to that wall, with my implacable strength and weight against her. We just stood that way for several long moments, and it felt as if time had slowed down. I remember looking up at her hands, still flat against the wall, high above her, just where I’d put them. We hadn’t yet spoken a word.

Then I let her go, and she turned to me. As my hands played over her body (pretty much 24/7…) she stared at me. I will never forget how wide and  moist her beautiful brown eyes were as she gazed at me, our faces mere inches apart. I thought for a moment that she might cry, but I think it was something else entirely. She loved it. It had excited her.

Many times as we mature, there are moments in life that we later look back upon as signposts or turning points on our journey to becoming fully formed people. This was one of those times. Was it kinky? I suppose not technically; it was a man physically dominating his woman. A lot of more or less vanilla relationships have elements of this to varying degrees. But what it really served as was as an “Aha!”  moment. She actually likes this! And holy perv discovery Batman, I LOVE this!

Maybe this is technically breaking the “rules” of 30 Days of Kink a bit, but I do think it certainly relates, at least tangentially, to kink (or the kink mindset). Hope you liked reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Until Day 6…

Best,

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, BDSM, Dominance and submission, first times, random thoughts, sexual awakening, trent's thoughts

Trent’s Thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey

May 7, 2012 By Trent Evans

“50 Shades of Dom hatred”

I read this in a posting over on Kitty Thomas‘ blog a while back.  I think it might be a perfect summation of what the success of the 50 Shades of Grey erotic trilogy means for the BDSM community in the short term. If you haven’t read, please click on over and have a look. Well worth your time.

Ironically enough, the success of E.L. James’ series is not a black or white, good or bad thing for BDSM practitioners (I don’t really like ‘kinksters’ as a descriptor). In the short run, there are both positives and negatives, while in the long run I think it will be almost uniformly helpful to BDSM – but not for the reasons you may think. In fact, in an odd way, the success may help push BDSM back into the “underground” somewhat. I will explain why in a bit.

Here are some of the short term benefits as I see them:

  1. “normalizing” of BDSM (i.e. people will realize that a whole lot of other people are interested in this stuff)
  2. sparks discussion in an honest manner not littered with snickering and general snark (I can’t tell you what kind of damage farces such as Exit to Eden do to BDSM; luckily nodody saw that movie, so it could have been a lot worse)
  3. more people will try it or talk about it with their significant others – this is only a good thing IMO
  4. will be a boon to erotica and erotic romance writers in a general sense ( a rising tide lifts all boats)

Short term detriments:

  1. kink tourists – people will “join in” as more of a lark than any real urge to explore their sexuality
  2. people will develop an unrealistic idea of BDSM based on the novels; by all accounts the novels are at best sugar-kink and at worst vanilla with a thin kink veneer.
  3. 50 Shades “clones” pushed by publishers
  4. PC police descend on the community – you thought it was bad when SSC was used as a cudgel to keep us unruly pervs in line? Now, comes “mainstream” kink – a contradiction in terms – that we’ll have to fall in line behind (or argue against).

In the long term though, I think 50 Shades could do for BDSM fiction what Twilight or the Harry Potter trilogy did for young adult and fantasy fiction, respectively. Like those books, the literary merit of the story or authorial talent ceases to matter – it’s the activity and the conversations sparked that matter.

How long has BDSM been whispered about, snickered about, or outright ridiculed? You can still be fired for being kinky, and quite legally at that. But it is NOT legal to be fired for being gay or lesbian. Now, the 50 Shades phenomenon is getting “regular” people talking about BDSM in :::shock::: a serious manner.

Now, many of the readers will be truly shocked and/or repelled by what those of us regard as “real” BDSM. That’s OK with me; it by default restores the “forbidden” to BDSM that may have been part of its initial appeal to many of us. That being said, we do need more honesty and openness about sexuality, and even if it results in a tsunami of kink tourists, this will encourage such openness. Maybe only 5% of these tourists decide to explore more deeply, and tap into something within themselves that speaks to needs far beyond the confines of the 50 Shades storyline? Is that ultimately a good thing? Hell yes, it is.

There are many of us who consider ourselves more or less “kinky” and actually regard being different as a badge of honor. However, the success of the series shows that there is a vast cohort of people who are at least intrigued by BDSM. As Kitty Thomas has stated many times on her blog, these readers may not be as vanilla as they think they are. The suppression of  the (at one time) very popular “bodice ripper” storylines in the Romance genre by the PC police doesn’t mean readers aren’t still interested in it. That to me is the most fascinating subtext to the 50 Shades phenomenon: readers want to read this stuff – a LOT of this stuff. If they can’t get it in the more “acceptable” Romance forms, then they will get it somewhere else.

Maybe 50 Shades helps revive the “bodice ripper” in the same way self-publishing is starting to revive the moribund gothic romance genre? My guess is that it continues to benefit erotic romance (which has seen more and more successes that embrace some rather dark storylines) and to a lesser extent, erotica.  It’s way too early to tell, but more genres mean more choices. This is always a good thing for readers and authors both.

What do you think? What is your take on the 50 Shades phenomenon?

 

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM fiction, bodice ripper, Dom Hatred, erotic romance, kink tourists, mainstream kink, random thoughts, safe sane and consensual, sugar kink, Twilight

30 Days of Kink: Day 3 and 4

April 25, 2012 By Trent Evans

Day 3: How did you discover you’re kinky?

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks? 

Combining these two as they will result in almost identical answers.

There are two answers to how I discovered I was kinky. I am still not entirely comfortable with the label “kinky”, but you already know my take on labels.

One, I always thought I was a little, well, different. I loved things like the damsel in distress themes in fantasy fiction. I thought it was disturbingly hot to see Fay Wray in chains in the ancient King Kong black and white (no, I’m not an old man…). Did everybody else think that was hot, as in sexually arousing? Well, I did and I knew I was weird because of it. Ah, the movie Dragonslayer – way too many subtexts to go into on that one. Possibly the first movie that combined my deep and abiding love for fantasy, and my nascent interest in the dirty. But Princess Elspeth. Sweet, noble, dark hair, beautiful…and in chains before the dragon. Um, yeah. I KNEW I wasn’t supposed to find that hot – but damn it was. Freak.

I remember watching the movie Splash and there was a backside shot of Daryl Hannah running on the beach. I remember thinking I wanted to smack her ass (and it was a great ass too). I think I was ten. 

Yeah…maybe that just means I was a heterosexual male. Who knows.

I remember watching Conan the Barbarian as a kid (probably not the best viewing for impressionable young minds, but I was a sneaky bastard), and loving the slavegirl subtexts at various points in that movie. Here is this movie, supposedly an action adventure and I am ogling the chicks. One track mind, even back then. So in a way, I’ve always known I was a little different, but I wouldn’t have even considered calling it “kinky”.

Now, “sick”? Maybe…

The second answer is that I really discovered I was kinky when I realized I wasn’t alone. Reading fiction helped a lot in this for me as a teenager. Lord did I read a lot of fiction – and you can guess what a lot of it was. I read everything I could find. I gradually realized that if people were writing this stuff, then that meant I wasn’t the only one reading it. I still thought I was a freak though. Then the internet came along and I of course devoured everything I could read – sexual or otherwise. That was the Aha! moment. There were literally thousands, maybe tens of thousands like me. Even better, I could see that though yes, I was a freak, that I was  way over on the mild end of the freak spectrum compared to others. You know that saying that somebody always has it worse? Yeah, others did. Does it make me a good person to think that? Not technically, but I felt better knowing I was less of a freak 🙂

There aren’t actually a lot of early experiences (i.e. childhood) that I can point to. I’m sure there must have been some, but I can’t remember anything that sticks out in my mind as being anything other than just kids being kids. Dang.

Now, there were experiences as an older teenager that were…but I don’t think I am going to share them here. Probably not appropriate for the thread. So, I will skip to young adulthood. I had a girlfriend (doesn’t everyone’s nasty stories start with “I had this girlfriend/boyfriend…”) who was the first person on Earth I let see what kind of filth I was reading. She not only didn’t freak out, she liked a lot of it. Score big points for GF!

Not only that, apparently I wasn’t the only one hiding the freak side. She came to my work one morning, and dragged me out to the parking lot. First she flashed me her tits right there  in the parking lot. I of course scolded her for trying to get me fired or arrested. She said fine “punish me for it.”

HOLY SHIT.

She had one of those thin, fine chains in her pocket for some reason and handed it to me. Then she told me to whip her with it. She then proceeded to bend over the hood of my car, wiggle her ass, and look back at me with this affected fearful expression. My, my the temptation to do it was visceral, overpowering.

The instinct to avoid jail was stronger, and Trent’s common sense prevailed – barely.

I told her I wanted to spank her before sex one night and she not only acquiesced but told me I should spank before we have sex every time. These are the times when it’s good to be Trent. I found later on that she liked pain during sex, and I realized (though wouldn’t yet admit it to myself) that I liked giving it. It didn’t work out with that girl, but after that I realized more fully who and what I was. More importantly, I realized that if I found the right woman, I could be who I really was. After that relationship, I have always incorporated some level of kink into things, depending on the woman involved.

But I will shut my mouth before I get myself into trouble. What about you? When did you realize you were kinky? Did you have any experiences that crystallized that fact for you?

Until Day 5.

Best,

Trent

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

Trent guest posts at Alta Hensley’s blog

April 25, 2012 By Trent Evans

Hello all,

The fine author Alta Hensley was kind enough to let me hone in on her blog territory for just a bit today. The subject of the blog posting is anal discipline in Domestic Discipline or BDSM relationships. If you have a few minutes, pop on over and have a read.

While you’re there have a look at her books. She writes some great (read: HOT) domestic discipline erotic romances. Thanks again Alta for having me!

(30 DoK to be continued shortly…)

 

Trent

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30 Days of Kink: Day 2

April 20, 2012 By Trent Evans

Oh boy, this thing isn’t messing around; it’s going right for the jugular with these prompts. Here goes nothing…

List your kinks.

This would be a shorter list if I listed the kinks I didn’t like, but I will shamelessly copy BDSM author Sadey Quinn here and use a top ten list. However, I won’t rank it – I’ll just list them in no particular order.

Note – all of this assumes her consent. Non-consent is the provenance of fantasy, my friends.

– Spanking/Corporal punishment –

Shocker right? A Dom who likes spanking? Well that’s me I guess Mr. Unoriginal sadist 😉

So, why I like this is self-explanatory: you get to hurt her, embarrass her (with her exposure to you), and feel her luscious ass all at once. It doesn’t get better than that for guys like me. Spanking is the most intimate punishment, and you can cause a surprising amount of sting and visually pleasing marks with the hand. Most importantly, it’s the safest, by far, form of corporal punishment. A Dom’s hand is meant to fit around the curvy bottom of his sub. It’s cosmic.  (I’m such a sap…)

I really, really like the cane too, for two reasons: it hurts like a sonofabitch, and if it’s done right, it leaves those glorious tramlines. It takes practice (and honestly, I need a lot more of it), but it is so damn fun to use the cane. So little effort to expend – literally, the flick of your wrist – to transport your darling to another world of pain and arousal.

Word of warning – BE FUCKING CAREFUL. She is trusting you with her vulnerable little ass, so don’t blow it by hurting her (more than you intend to anyway). She’ll love you for it.

– Humiliation –

I really struggled with this when I first came to grips with who I really was. Why would I like to humiliate her? Basically, it’s about control. She has given you control over her (notice how I said “given”? – yeah consent is important). I like to show her that I can do whatever I want with her. I don’t like public humiliation unless both she and the witnesses to said humiliation are part of it. In short the allure of  non-consensual public humiliation needs to stay in the realm of fantasy. I like it there just fine (OK, I love non-con humiliation in fiction), believe me  – and judging by erotica sales, lots of other people do too. Subtle humiliation can be so, so hot. It’s more psychological than anything. You’re invading, controlling her feelings – in a way it’s even more potent than physical control. Make her go to dinner with you in that tight white tank top, so everyone gets a good view of those big, wobbling tits? So sweet. Forbid her to wear underwear of any kind to work that day? She gets to worry if her weeping cunt will leave a wet spot on her skirt as she sits at her desk thinking about it. OK, maybe she’d do something to prevent such a thing. The point is you’re making her deal with that, making her think about it. Truly awesome : )

(An aside here. If you like humiliation in your BDSM fiction, then you need to go immediately to Sadey Quinn’s blog and from there go buy her books. Or you can just start here, then go here. I have read a LOT of BDSM fiction and I think she writes some of the best BDSM and humiliation I’ve ever read. Seriously, go now. You won’t regret it.)

– Pony Play / Pet Play – 

This is one I have not done IRL, but have always loved it. This plays directly into the humiliation kink, really. You are reducing someone to something less than human (in a figurative sense, of course), which is a very effective (and hardcore) form of control. If you take a step back from this it can look frankly ridiculous, but if you stay in the headspace of the woman submitting to such treatment it is incredibly hot. Displaying her body in whatever way is arousing to you rather than what she finds comfortable, depriving her of the ability to speak (bits for ponyplay/muzzles for petplay), training her to move/comport herself physically in the exact way you require  – and if she fails punishing her for it. In the case of ponyplay, you are actually reducing her to the level of a mode of transportation – pulling you as a draft horse would. It’s wacky shit to be sure, but it’s um, yeah, nice. I am going to shut up here, because I could go on a LOT longer on this one.

– Oral Servicing/”Forced” Oral/Face-fucking –

I use these various terms because it means different things to different people. A sub’s main duty is servicing her Dom or Master. Using her mouth is the natural, most subservient way of doing so. She’s on her knees before you, her hands bound tightly behind her back, your fist in her hair, dictating to her when she has to use her lips and tongue, and when she has to relax that throat and take all of you. If she gags, that’s fine; I like it. I think this is one area many “vanilla” guys can most readily understand vis-à-vis the attraction of kink. There is an element of subservience in oral sex, a constant subconscious undercurrent that serves as one of the reasons that guys like it so much. It’s more than the physical bliss of her agile tongue and soft lips; it’s something on a deeper, instinctual level. Some guys accept it and don’t examine that motivation; motor-mouths like me take it out, look at it from all angles and write a fucking essay about it <eg>

– Face Slapping – 

(Note –  I am not talking about giving her a fat lip or slapping her silly. No fucking way is that okay with me. That’s abusive. I am talking about a few crisp slaps to the cheek; nothing damaging  – other than to her pride – whatsoever.)

Very conflicted about this; I have never done this, and really I’m not sure I could. Maybe this is one of those that is better relegated to fantasy? I know, I know,  Domly McDomlersons aren’t supposed to suffer such mortal feelings as :::shock! horror!::: ambivalence. But it’s true. I think it can only be done (and really should only be done) between two people in a committed relationship or marriage. YMMV

Why? Because the level of trust it takes to allow something like this is so deep, that I would never be comfortable enough doing it in any other setting. Why so conflicted? This goes against everything men, from the earliest of ages, are (rightly) told about how to treat a woman. You don’t slap her – even if she slaps you. Chivalry, I guess.

So Trent, why is this on your list if you’re including all these qualifiers, and plastering equivocation all over it? BDSM is often about the breaking down of boundaries, pushing limits – even the Dom’s limits. I think this is, in a way, harder on a loving Dom than it is on the sub. However, in the context of a committed relationship, it could be something really, um, interesting; a sort of unfiltered, simple manifestation of a Dom’s control and imposition of his will upon her. He is literally invading her personal space in a way that’s unlike anything else; at once intimate and humiliating. In fiction when I’ve encountered it, I found it incandescently hot and it freaked me out a little at first that I would have such a reaction. But we all have to be open to new things – and be honest with ourselves.

God, I am going to get fucking murdered on this one – but I said I would be honest.

– Discipline –

OK this differs from something like spanking in that it’s more of a ritualized, purposeful act rather than spanking your sub just because you want to see her ass furnace red. Something like Domestic Discipline appeals to me. I am big on lists of rules and regulations she must follow, and discipline is what would result when she fails to meet expectations or doesn’t follow the rules. The discipline could be anything (but with me it’s going to be sexual in some way). Spanking, cornertime, anal discipline, etc – it could be whatever is most effective (or just what I feel she needs at the time).  I find the idea of maintenance spanking/discipline smokin’ hot. (e.g. she gets a spanking on a set night once per week/month/whatever just on general principles). Maintenance spanking does a few things:

  • It punishes her for anything he may have missed (she pays for something he overlooked; ah sweet injustice – the life of a slave <eg>).
  • It reinforces her submission to her Dom, and the fact that she is subject to him.
  • It gives her something to fret about, dread (and lets be honest, get wet over) all week long until her next maintenance spanking.
  • It’s a great excuse to put his hands on her gorgeous ass.

This is another topic I am going to zip it about – could write a damned book about this one alone.

– Piercing/Tattoos – 

These fit into kink like a hand in a glove (or a cock in a pussy to use a more appropriate metaphor). Something so hot about having her flesh pierced at your direction, claiming her as your own. Nipples IMO cry out for rings, but then again I am a perv. Yes, it’s possible to have too many rings, but for me that has to go pretty far to reach that point. I find tattoos simply beautiful, and would probably like them (on women) even if I wasn’t a twisted bastard. I find them aesthetically pleasing, and not just in a sexual way (although that’s a BIG part of it). The relative permanence of tattoos makes them something special that sets them apart from piercing in a way.

Piercing and tattooing is about pain and possession: she goes through that pain to mark herself as your possession. Day-um.

-Sharing-

Sharing your sub with other Doms/Masters. This seems natural to me, especially in a Master/slave context. The idea of loaning out your sub to another Dom, or perhaps working on her with another Dom is something that appeals to me. I’ve never done it, but I know I’d love it. By sharing her, you are again demonstrating your control, your ownership of her. Sharing gives you a chance to see how she is with other Doms. Perhaps you realize you’ve been going too easy on her when you see her respond to different, harsher treatment from another Dom. Maybe you realize your sub, who had always previously declared herself 110% hetero, may have been not entirely honest when you see her cunt weeping as she takes that hard spanking from a Mistress. Adding another variable tends to makes things more interesting; it can open up greater vistas, more possibilities.

-Breast Bondage/Torture – 

I am fixated on the female buttocks; I think that’s a requirement to get your spanko card. But I am equally fascinated by breasts. I know, another true newsflash, right? Bound breasts; the itchy rope abrading her tender flesh, the pale skin tight and smooth to the touch, the globes bulging under the stricture. Holy hotness Batman! Whipping them, slapping them (love this), squeezing them. The nipples are just so vulnerable. They call out to us to both pleasure and hurt them. It makes no sense; it’s a storm of contradiction. But it doesn’t matter-  human desires rarely make sense.

What’s not to love about breasts?

-The Crying/Comforting Dichotomy-

Not sure if this is a kink or maybe just a mind-set. I enjoy spanking a sub until she cries. Sadistic? Probably, but what if you factor in how much better she feels after a good cry? Some subs need that cry, want it. They don’t want it because they are crazy head-cases. They want the release, the unburdening of tension and anxiety that comes with that crying. Ask a woman how she feels after a good hard cry. A lot of the time, she will tell you they feel so much better. Does this mean we should going around beating women’s asses willy-nilly “for their own good”? Um, no. My point is that their reactions are a lot more complicated then they would appear on the surface.

Maybe she’s just had 20 searing strokes with the cane, and her ass is on fire. The tears are streaming down her beautiful face. Am I turned on by those tears? Hell yes, I am. Is it because those tears are her physiological reaction to the severe pain? Or is it because those tears are a catharsis, a way to release those emotions bottled up inside. Maybe she just wants to lose control of everything and abandon herself to emotion and sensation?What’s the answer? I don’t know. Females, and female subs in particular, are fascinating, complicated creatures. Any Dom who thinks he has them figured out is a fucking liar.

Here is the really fucked up part of it for me. I love the comforting afterward (the “aftercare”); it actually turns me on (yes, physically). It’s her vulnerability that does it. She’s surrendered to you. Yours to protect and comfort; care for and shelter. The soothing, kissing away her tears, whispering in her ear. Holding her – just holding her. Maybe she falls asleep, maybe we talk about nothing at all. Just talk. This is when you have reached that privileged inner sanctum of a sub’s mind. It’s truly intimate. No walls, no facades – just her. A man and a woman. Living, experiencing, sharing – loving.

Maybe that wasn’t quite a top 1o list per se, but whatever it was, it was brutally effing honest. I know I will be raked over the coals for some of it. Oh well – no guts, no glory. Maybe some lucky woman will read this and have the courage to tell her beloved husband what she really desires. Maybe somewhere a man will sit down with his wife and talk about why they’ve been fighting, why he’s been holding himself back from being what he really is, what he really wants to be with her.

It’s why I am doing this. If this helps just one couple connect, this will be worth it. See you for Day 3… oh dear Lord help me.

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, random thoughts

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