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You are here: Home / Archives for random thoughts

Trent’s Top Ten BDSM Books — #Dungeon Crawl 03/26/14

March 26, 2014 By Trent Evans

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Hello fellow pervs and spankos!

This week, I’m taking a break from posting excerpts (stop cheering out there :/ ), and instead giving you a nice little list. I love lists.

You’ve been warned.

I’ve read a lot of erotic romance, and erotica, and just plain smut. Shit-tons of it. This list (which contains some of all three types of books) was TOUGH to put together. I like a lot of books:) But the list I came up with reflects my favorites. Hopefully, the few poor souls who actually read this post might find something new to read:)

And now, in no particular order are Trent’s Top Ten BDSM Books:

1. Owned And Owner by Anneke Jacob

Probably my all time favorite BDSM story, this book absolutely nails (heh) the concept of consensual non-consent, exploring it to its fullest — and sometimes disturbing — meaning. The depiction of prolonged orgasm denial here is unique, grueling, and hot.

2. Ice Queen/Mirror of My Soul by Joey W. Hill

Joey W. Hill is simply a treasure. With the possible exception of Anneke Jacob, no writer alive writes BDSM better than Ms. Hill. I could’ve picked nearly every novel from her body of work and included it in this list — she’s that good. However, the two part epic that is Ice Queen and Mirror of My Soul is her masterpiece. At once supernova hot, profoundly moving, and at times, harrowing, these books are the definitive example of BDSM erotic romance. Simply stunning.

3. Story of O by Pauline Reage

This unrelentingly dark, almost impenetrable book (along with The Sleeping Beauty trilogy) has become indispensable BDSM reading. It’s not hyperbole to say that all modern BDSM fiction owes this book a debt of gratitude. Story of O is incredibly erotic, thought-provoking, tragic, and ruthlessly subversive. This book is as courageous, and visionary, as it is intimate and shattering. All the superlatives you’ve read about this book are true. If you haven’t read it, stop reading this blog right now, and go buy it.

4. The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure

Though IMHO, the third book stumbles quite badly in places, the trilogy as a whole is a seminal, important, ground-breaking work of erotic art. Rarely can one say a work of dirty smut is also high art, but Anne Rice (writing as A.N. Roquelaure) accomplishes exactly that here, gifting the world with this incredible trilogy. In the world of BDSM erotic fiction, nobody has ever equaled her work in the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, and I’m not sure anyone ever will. As important as Story of O to all modern BDSM fiction. And holy shit did Anne Rice have GUTS when she wrote this.

5. The Reluctant Dom by Tymber Dalton

I’ve read this book twice, the second time to see if it packed the same freight train sized emotional wallop. If was even more powerful the second time around. How Ms. Dalton manages to make a book this hot also be uplifting and emotionally devastating is simply beyond my comprehension. Read the cavalcade of 5 star reviews on the Amazon listing. They all speak truth.  You will not regret reading this amazing book — but you’ll be haunted by it for days afterward. If you haven’t read this book, please, I beg you — go read it.

6. Pets: Bach’s Story by Darla Phelps

This unassuming little sci-fi book turned out to be one of the hottest fucking books I’ve ever read. A total surprise to find something so hot, so well-written and well-conceived (though once I learned the real person behind the pseudonym, it wasn’t a surprise at all:) I immediately re-read this one to make sure it really was that awesome. Oh yes, it was.

7. The Territory Within by  P. N. Dedeaux

Unapologetically male-oriented (and supremely politically incorrect) erotic fiction. This was both original in conception, and execution. If you like the idea of a male dominant’s dream world, with an entire society incorporating the sexual submission of women then you’re going to fucking love this book. I know I did. Intense, raw, fearless smut.

8. Hall of Infamy by Amanita Virosa

Another example of male-oriented erotica that I think many women would absolutely eat up. Perhaps one of the best written (and hottest) works of corporal punishment fiction I’ve ever read. This is not a romance — at all — but as long as you know that going in, you can enjoy the superb writing, crackling description, and incredible, unrelenting eroticism. I loved this book.

9. Prima by Carolyn Faulkner

This book skates the fine line between dub-con and non-con, and is an absolutely smoking hot example of corporal punishment D/s (borderline M/s, really) erotic romance. This one gets a lot of flack from readers who are taken aback by the intense BDSM (especially the pain), but it is definitely an erotic romance — and a satisfying one at that. If you like extensive, expertly described corporal punishment scenes, then you cannot go wrong with this red hot little tale.

10. The Handmaidens/Citadel of Servitude by Aran Ashe

These first two books of the Chronicles of Tormunil series (which really need to both be read in order for the events to make any semblance of sense), are admittedly an acquired taste. In many ways this is reminiscent of The Sleeping Beauty trilogy, though these books are far more obsessive (and exhaustive) with the exploration of the sexual journeys of the protagonists. On the surface, these are dark, even brutal, books, but in actuality, the slaves (for they are most definitely sex slaves) in these books aren’t brutalized … quite. Aran Ashe’s vision (and fascinating powers of description) needs to be experienced to be believed. I can’t guarantee you’ll like it — the series seems to be a love it or hate it proposition — but I can guarantee you’ve never read anything quite like it.

I’ll probably have a Son of Top Ten list someday soon, but until then, I hope this trip down the smut reading rabbit hole was at least illuminating, if not entertaining:)

Until next time.

Trent

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Filed Under: Book Review, Dungeon Crawl Blog Hop, Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: BDSM book reviews, Dungeon Crawl Blog Hop, random thoughts, Top Ten BDSM books, Trent Evans

30 Days of Kink — Day 19

July 20, 2013 By Trent Evans

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

In many ways, this is one of those chicken or the egg/which came first questions. Have I embraced kink because my life has improved (e.g. I’m more comfortable with myself), or has kink demonstrably improved how I view and live my life? I don’t suppose it really matters either way when you get right down to it, as the answer is an unqualified ‘yes’.

First and foremost, and most surprisingly, it’s helped me just relax about being who I am, about being different than the “norm”. So you’re a dude who likes to spank women, who likes to run the show in the bedroom. Big effing deal. There are hundreds of thousands, maybe millions like you in this country alone. Welcome to a very large club! So, you like to write erotica and erotic romance soaked in BDSM. Big whoop — there are hundreds, thousands more who do the same thing. I think realizing that you are not alone, that you aren’t a simple aberration of the human condition really helps. I suppose the Intertubez are an integral part of that as well:)

In a larger sense though, discovering this entire world outside of your little tiny, insular existence is equal parts exhilarating, and humbling. Not only are you not alone, but you aren’t even that uncommon in the larger world of kink. To some that might be disturbing as it might lessen the sense of uniqueness that they may pride themselves on. Hard to tell, but for me, it was a huge relief:)

Secondly, kink has certainly helped me understand people better, even vanilla people. I’m going to take a wild guess here, and state that, by and large, kinky people are somewhat more open about sex and sexuality than most people. I understand that this is a gross generalization, but I think it’s probably fairly accurate. In my case, it’s definitely opened my eyes to the motivations of those around me, allowed me to perceive some of the subtler interpersonal interactions and cues that many of us are subconsciously aware of, but don’t necessarily consciously perceive. What I mean by this, specifically, is how driven many (if not most) people are by their base animal instincts. Modern human culture and social mores have necessarily put a brake on these urges, redirected them, channeled them into (sometimes) more constructive endeavors, but those drives, those urges, remain, as viscerally vital to all of us as fear or hunger are. This probably sounds like a bunch of foofy shit to most of you, but hopefully a few of you get what I’m trying to say here;)

Lastly, kink has unexpectedly allowed me to understand myself. It’s been a way to help me sort out who the fuck I am. I’m not particularly deep or complex, but oddly enough, those parts of me that were forever an inscrutable mystery to me have started to make a helluva lot more sense since I’ve been able to admit, to be at peace with who I am. Once I could make sense of the tangled mess that was me, it not only helped me understand others, it helped me empathize with others. My friend, and blogging partner over at Romancing The Kink, the talented Natasha Knight, has a famous quote at the end of her e-mails that I’ve always liked, and one it’s something that I think perfectly crystallizes what many of us who are kinky go through inside our own heads:

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Jesus, this all sounds like self-indulgent navel-gazing from me, doesn’t it? I’m going to do all of you a big favor and STFU for now:)

Until Day 20.

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, BDSM psychology, kink acceptance, Natasha Knight, random thoughts, Romancing The Kink, thoughts on kink, Trent Evans

30 Days of Kink: Day 5

May 8, 2012 By Trent Evans

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? 

Hmm, I kind of accidentally shared my first officially kinky experience in Day 3 and 4. However, there was something that happened long before then that I can relate to you for Day 5. I am a little leery of sharing this, so I will need to self-censor this just a bit – sorry about that!

When I was quite young (19) I was, as many kids are, not fully aware with regard to the subject of my sexuality. It’s ironic that as a young man, I could think of little else, yet my thoughts on the subject were unfortunately marked by the facile shallowness of youth. I like to think I was a little deeper than my friends when it came to the subject, but how can one really know? It wasn’t like I asked my friends if they got off on tying up and spanking their girlfriends!

My girlfriend at the time (truly a sweetheart, who deserved better than me) and I were always playfully wrestling, physically grappling. I know that may seem weird to some, but I know for a fact lots of couples do this, whether they admit to it or not. It was cute, an excuse to have our hands all over each other (and a way for me to subconsicously relish imposing my physical will on her). Anyway, though she was a strong girl, I was far stronger than her, and these little impromptu grapplings would only ever have one end – unless I agreed to only use one arm. In those cases I’d still win, but it would take a lot longer:)

One night we were messing around while getting dressed to go somewhere and we started up again. She was particularly feisty, and I (of course) got into it as well. I had somehow ended up crossing her arms behind her back, my hands wrapped tightly around her upper arms. I remember us just standing there a moment, she struggling against my grip and me simply holding her still. Then I marched her forward and pinned her against the wall, she grunted but it wasn’t because I’d hurt her; I think it may have simply been surprise. Hell, I was surprised myself.

Instead of letting her go though, I just held her there pressed to the wall. Her roommate was getting ready to go out too, and she was in another bedroom not 10 feet away. Somehow that made things better, more…I can’t think of the word. Let’s say interesting. She struggled again and started to say something, but I shushed her letting go of an arm and laying two fingers over her mouth. She stood stock still, shocked I think. I’d never done such a thing before. I stood there a few more moments, pressed up against her, pinning her to the wall. I released her other arm and then moved her hands up the wall, placing them above her head as if she were reaching for the ceiling.

Now, at that point I was shocked too. What the fuck are you doing Trent? Reenacting some scene from Cops? So, dumbass kid that I was, rather than ponder some deeper meaning, I just thought with my cock. I liked this, whatever the fuck this was. So I just went with it. She was wearing jeans and a thin camisole (she hadn’t yet gotten a chance to put her shirt on before we threw down). I planted my palm between her shoulder blades and pressed her hard to the wall. She didn’t resist – not one fucking iota. Unreal.

Then I reached around her hips and pulled her toward me, which left her ass sticking out awkwardly toward me. I unbuttoned her jeans (god I love tight jeans on a woman, but I digress) and yanked them and her panties down to mid thigh. I fondled her ass, squeezing her buttocks, gently pinching the soft flesh of her inner thighs. I loved her ass, what can I say? Then I got another wild idea. I pushed her hips back against the wall with the rest of her, fitting my body closely to hers, grinding myself against her naked ass. Her partial nudity while I was fully clothed was something I liked, but at the time it didn’t really register. Then I reached around and pulled her camisole up, and she did the most shocking thing yet. She helped me. She actually pulled herself away from the wall as much as my pressing hand would allow, to allow me to pull that cami up and over her tits. I don’t know where her bra was; maybe she wasn’t planning on wearing one.

I pressed her up against the wall again, hard. She gasped at the coldness of the rough painted wall on her breasts, but otherwise made not a sound. I  leaned against her, urging her to rise up on her toes, to press herself as hard as she could to that wall, with my implacable strength and weight against her. We just stood that way for several long moments, and it felt as if time had slowed down. I remember looking up at her hands, still flat against the wall, high above her, just where I’d put them. We hadn’t yet spoken a word.

Then I let her go, and she turned to me. As my hands played over her body (pretty much 24/7…) she stared at me. I will never forget how wide and  moist her beautiful brown eyes were as she gazed at me, our faces mere inches apart. I thought for a moment that she might cry, but I think it was something else entirely. She loved it. It had excited her.

Many times as we mature, there are moments in life that we later look back upon as signposts or turning points on our journey to becoming fully formed people. This was one of those times. Was it kinky? I suppose not technically; it was a man physically dominating his woman. A lot of more or less vanilla relationships have elements of this to varying degrees. But what it really served as was as an “Aha!”  moment. She actually likes this! And holy perv discovery Batman, I LOVE this!

Maybe this is technically breaking the “rules” of 30 Days of Kink a bit, but I do think it certainly relates, at least tangentially, to kink (or the kink mindset). Hope you liked reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Until Day 6…

Best,

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, BDSM, Dominance and submission, first times, random thoughts, sexual awakening, trent's thoughts

Trent’s Thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey

May 7, 2012 By Trent Evans

“50 Shades of Dom hatred”

I read this in a posting over on Kitty Thomas‘ blog a while back.  I think it might be a perfect summation of what the success of the 50 Shades of Grey erotic trilogy means for the BDSM community in the short term. If you haven’t read, please click on over and have a look. Well worth your time.

Ironically enough, the success of E.L. James’ series is not a black or white, good or bad thing for BDSM practitioners (I don’t really like ‘kinksters’ as a descriptor). In the short run, there are both positives and negatives, while in the long run I think it will be almost uniformly helpful to BDSM – but not for the reasons you may think. In fact, in an odd way, the success may help push BDSM back into the “underground” somewhat. I will explain why in a bit.

Here are some of the short term benefits as I see them:

  1. “normalizing” of BDSM (i.e. people will realize that a whole lot of other people are interested in this stuff)
  2. sparks discussion in an honest manner not littered with snickering and general snark (I can’t tell you what kind of damage farces such as Exit to Eden do to BDSM; luckily nodody saw that movie, so it could have been a lot worse)
  3. more people will try it or talk about it with their significant others – this is only a good thing IMO
  4. will be a boon to erotica and erotic romance writers in a general sense ( a rising tide lifts all boats)

Short term detriments:

  1. kink tourists – people will “join in” as more of a lark than any real urge to explore their sexuality
  2. people will develop an unrealistic idea of BDSM based on the novels; by all accounts the novels are at best sugar-kink and at worst vanilla with a thin kink veneer.
  3. 50 Shades “clones” pushed by publishers
  4. PC police descend on the community – you thought it was bad when SSC was used as a cudgel to keep us unruly pervs in line? Now, comes “mainstream” kink – a contradiction in terms – that we’ll have to fall in line behind (or argue against).

In the long term though, I think 50 Shades could do for BDSM fiction what Twilight or the Harry Potter trilogy did for young adult and fantasy fiction, respectively. Like those books, the literary merit of the story or authorial talent ceases to matter – it’s the activity and the conversations sparked that matter.

How long has BDSM been whispered about, snickered about, or outright ridiculed? You can still be fired for being kinky, and quite legally at that. But it is NOT legal to be fired for being gay or lesbian. Now, the 50 Shades phenomenon is getting “regular” people talking about BDSM in :::shock::: a serious manner.

Now, many of the readers will be truly shocked and/or repelled by what those of us regard as “real” BDSM. That’s OK with me; it by default restores the “forbidden” to BDSM that may have been part of its initial appeal to many of us. That being said, we do need more honesty and openness about sexuality, and even if it results in a tsunami of kink tourists, this will encourage such openness. Maybe only 5% of these tourists decide to explore more deeply, and tap into something within themselves that speaks to needs far beyond the confines of the 50 Shades storyline? Is that ultimately a good thing? Hell yes, it is.

There are many of us who consider ourselves more or less “kinky” and actually regard being different as a badge of honor. However, the success of the series shows that there is a vast cohort of people who are at least intrigued by BDSM. As Kitty Thomas has stated many times on her blog, these readers may not be as vanilla as they think they are. The suppression of  the (at one time) very popular “bodice ripper” storylines in the Romance genre by the PC police doesn’t mean readers aren’t still interested in it. That to me is the most fascinating subtext to the 50 Shades phenomenon: readers want to read this stuff – a LOT of this stuff. If they can’t get it in the more “acceptable” Romance forms, then they will get it somewhere else.

Maybe 50 Shades helps revive the “bodice ripper” in the same way self-publishing is starting to revive the moribund gothic romance genre? My guess is that it continues to benefit erotic romance (which has seen more and more successes that embrace some rather dark storylines) and to a lesser extent, erotica.  It’s way too early to tell, but more genres mean more choices. This is always a good thing for readers and authors both.

What do you think? What is your take on the 50 Shades phenomenon?

 

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM fiction, bodice ripper, Dom Hatred, erotic romance, kink tourists, mainstream kink, random thoughts, safe sane and consensual, sugar kink, Twilight

30 Days of Kink: Day 2

April 20, 2012 By Trent Evans

Oh boy, this thing isn’t messing around; it’s going right for the jugular with these prompts. Here goes nothing…

List your kinks.

This would be a shorter list if I listed the kinks I didn’t like, but I will shamelessly copy BDSM author Sadey Quinn here and use a top ten list. However, I won’t rank it – I’ll just list them in no particular order.

Note – all of this assumes her consent. Non-consent is the provenance of fantasy, my friends.

– Spanking/Corporal punishment –

Shocker right? A Dom who likes spanking? Well that’s me I guess Mr. Unoriginal sadist 😉

So, why I like this is self-explanatory: you get to hurt her, embarrass her (with her exposure to you), and feel her luscious ass all at once. It doesn’t get better than that for guys like me. Spanking is the most intimate punishment, and you can cause a surprising amount of sting and visually pleasing marks with the hand. Most importantly, it’s the safest, by far, form of corporal punishment. A Dom’s hand is meant to fit around the curvy bottom of his sub. It’s cosmic.  (I’m such a sap…)

I really, really like the cane too, for two reasons: it hurts like a sonofabitch, and if it’s done right, it leaves those glorious tramlines. It takes practice (and honestly, I need a lot more of it), but it is so damn fun to use the cane. So little effort to expend – literally, the flick of your wrist – to transport your darling to another world of pain and arousal.

Word of warning – BE FUCKING CAREFUL. She is trusting you with her vulnerable little ass, so don’t blow it by hurting her (more than you intend to anyway). She’ll love you for it.

– Humiliation –

I really struggled with this when I first came to grips with who I really was. Why would I like to humiliate her? Basically, it’s about control. She has given you control over her (notice how I said “given”? – yeah consent is important). I like to show her that I can do whatever I want with her. I don’t like public humiliation unless both she and the witnesses to said humiliation are part of it. In short the allure of  non-consensual public humiliation needs to stay in the realm of fantasy. I like it there just fine (OK, I love non-con humiliation in fiction), believe me  – and judging by erotica sales, lots of other people do too. Subtle humiliation can be so, so hot. It’s more psychological than anything. You’re invading, controlling her feelings – in a way it’s even more potent than physical control. Make her go to dinner with you in that tight white tank top, so everyone gets a good view of those big, wobbling tits? So sweet. Forbid her to wear underwear of any kind to work that day? She gets to worry if her weeping cunt will leave a wet spot on her skirt as she sits at her desk thinking about it. OK, maybe she’d do something to prevent such a thing. The point is you’re making her deal with that, making her think about it. Truly awesome : )

(An aside here. If you like humiliation in your BDSM fiction, then you need to go immediately to Sadey Quinn’s blog and from there go buy her books. Or you can just start here, then go here. I have read a LOT of BDSM fiction and I think she writes some of the best BDSM and humiliation I’ve ever read. Seriously, go now. You won’t regret it.)

– Pony Play / Pet Play – 

This is one I have not done IRL, but have always loved it. This plays directly into the humiliation kink, really. You are reducing someone to something less than human (in a figurative sense, of course), which is a very effective (and hardcore) form of control. If you take a step back from this it can look frankly ridiculous, but if you stay in the headspace of the woman submitting to such treatment it is incredibly hot. Displaying her body in whatever way is arousing to you rather than what she finds comfortable, depriving her of the ability to speak (bits for ponyplay/muzzles for petplay), training her to move/comport herself physically in the exact way you require  – and if she fails punishing her for it. In the case of ponyplay, you are actually reducing her to the level of a mode of transportation – pulling you as a draft horse would. It’s wacky shit to be sure, but it’s um, yeah, nice. I am going to shut up here, because I could go on a LOT longer on this one.

– Oral Servicing/”Forced” Oral/Face-fucking –

I use these various terms because it means different things to different people. A sub’s main duty is servicing her Dom or Master. Using her mouth is the natural, most subservient way of doing so. She’s on her knees before you, her hands bound tightly behind her back, your fist in her hair, dictating to her when she has to use her lips and tongue, and when she has to relax that throat and take all of you. If she gags, that’s fine; I like it. I think this is one area many “vanilla” guys can most readily understand vis-à-vis the attraction of kink. There is an element of subservience in oral sex, a constant subconscious undercurrent that serves as one of the reasons that guys like it so much. It’s more than the physical bliss of her agile tongue and soft lips; it’s something on a deeper, instinctual level. Some guys accept it and don’t examine that motivation; motor-mouths like me take it out, look at it from all angles and write a fucking essay about it <eg>

– Face Slapping – 

(Note –  I am not talking about giving her a fat lip or slapping her silly. No fucking way is that okay with me. That’s abusive. I am talking about a few crisp slaps to the cheek; nothing damaging  – other than to her pride – whatsoever.)

Very conflicted about this; I have never done this, and really I’m not sure I could. Maybe this is one of those that is better relegated to fantasy? I know, I know,  Domly McDomlersons aren’t supposed to suffer such mortal feelings as :::shock! horror!::: ambivalence. But it’s true. I think it can only be done (and really should only be done) between two people in a committed relationship or marriage. YMMV

Why? Because the level of trust it takes to allow something like this is so deep, that I would never be comfortable enough doing it in any other setting. Why so conflicted? This goes against everything men, from the earliest of ages, are (rightly) told about how to treat a woman. You don’t slap her – even if she slaps you. Chivalry, I guess.

So Trent, why is this on your list if you’re including all these qualifiers, and plastering equivocation all over it? BDSM is often about the breaking down of boundaries, pushing limits – even the Dom’s limits. I think this is, in a way, harder on a loving Dom than it is on the sub. However, in the context of a committed relationship, it could be something really, um, interesting; a sort of unfiltered, simple manifestation of a Dom’s control and imposition of his will upon her. He is literally invading her personal space in a way that’s unlike anything else; at once intimate and humiliating. In fiction when I’ve encountered it, I found it incandescently hot and it freaked me out a little at first that I would have such a reaction. But we all have to be open to new things – and be honest with ourselves.

God, I am going to get fucking murdered on this one – but I said I would be honest.

– Discipline –

OK this differs from something like spanking in that it’s more of a ritualized, purposeful act rather than spanking your sub just because you want to see her ass furnace red. Something like Domestic Discipline appeals to me. I am big on lists of rules and regulations she must follow, and discipline is what would result when she fails to meet expectations or doesn’t follow the rules. The discipline could be anything (but with me it’s going to be sexual in some way). Spanking, cornertime, anal discipline, etc – it could be whatever is most effective (or just what I feel she needs at the time).  I find the idea of maintenance spanking/discipline smokin’ hot. (e.g. she gets a spanking on a set night once per week/month/whatever just on general principles). Maintenance spanking does a few things:

  • It punishes her for anything he may have missed (she pays for something he overlooked; ah sweet injustice – the life of a slave <eg>).
  • It reinforces her submission to her Dom, and the fact that she is subject to him.
  • It gives her something to fret about, dread (and lets be honest, get wet over) all week long until her next maintenance spanking.
  • It’s a great excuse to put his hands on her gorgeous ass.

This is another topic I am going to zip it about – could write a damned book about this one alone.

– Piercing/Tattoos – 

These fit into kink like a hand in a glove (or a cock in a pussy to use a more appropriate metaphor). Something so hot about having her flesh pierced at your direction, claiming her as your own. Nipples IMO cry out for rings, but then again I am a perv. Yes, it’s possible to have too many rings, but for me that has to go pretty far to reach that point. I find tattoos simply beautiful, and would probably like them (on women) even if I wasn’t a twisted bastard. I find them aesthetically pleasing, and not just in a sexual way (although that’s a BIG part of it). The relative permanence of tattoos makes them something special that sets them apart from piercing in a way.

Piercing and tattooing is about pain and possession: she goes through that pain to mark herself as your possession. Day-um.

-Sharing-

Sharing your sub with other Doms/Masters. This seems natural to me, especially in a Master/slave context. The idea of loaning out your sub to another Dom, or perhaps working on her with another Dom is something that appeals to me. I’ve never done it, but I know I’d love it. By sharing her, you are again demonstrating your control, your ownership of her. Sharing gives you a chance to see how she is with other Doms. Perhaps you realize you’ve been going too easy on her when you see her respond to different, harsher treatment from another Dom. Maybe you realize your sub, who had always previously declared herself 110% hetero, may have been not entirely honest when you see her cunt weeping as she takes that hard spanking from a Mistress. Adding another variable tends to makes things more interesting; it can open up greater vistas, more possibilities.

-Breast Bondage/Torture – 

I am fixated on the female buttocks; I think that’s a requirement to get your spanko card. But I am equally fascinated by breasts. I know, another true newsflash, right? Bound breasts; the itchy rope abrading her tender flesh, the pale skin tight and smooth to the touch, the globes bulging under the stricture. Holy hotness Batman! Whipping them, slapping them (love this), squeezing them. The nipples are just so vulnerable. They call out to us to both pleasure and hurt them. It makes no sense; it’s a storm of contradiction. But it doesn’t matter-  human desires rarely make sense.

What’s not to love about breasts?

-The Crying/Comforting Dichotomy-

Not sure if this is a kink or maybe just a mind-set. I enjoy spanking a sub until she cries. Sadistic? Probably, but what if you factor in how much better she feels after a good cry? Some subs need that cry, want it. They don’t want it because they are crazy head-cases. They want the release, the unburdening of tension and anxiety that comes with that crying. Ask a woman how she feels after a good hard cry. A lot of the time, she will tell you they feel so much better. Does this mean we should going around beating women’s asses willy-nilly “for their own good”? Um, no. My point is that their reactions are a lot more complicated then they would appear on the surface.

Maybe she’s just had 20 searing strokes with the cane, and her ass is on fire. The tears are streaming down her beautiful face. Am I turned on by those tears? Hell yes, I am. Is it because those tears are her physiological reaction to the severe pain? Or is it because those tears are a catharsis, a way to release those emotions bottled up inside. Maybe she just wants to lose control of everything and abandon herself to emotion and sensation?What’s the answer? I don’t know. Females, and female subs in particular, are fascinating, complicated creatures. Any Dom who thinks he has them figured out is a fucking liar.

Here is the really fucked up part of it for me. I love the comforting afterward (the “aftercare”); it actually turns me on (yes, physically). It’s her vulnerability that does it. She’s surrendered to you. Yours to protect and comfort; care for and shelter. The soothing, kissing away her tears, whispering in her ear. Holding her – just holding her. Maybe she falls asleep, maybe we talk about nothing at all. Just talk. This is when you have reached that privileged inner sanctum of a sub’s mind. It’s truly intimate. No walls, no facades – just her. A man and a woman. Living, experiencing, sharing – loving.

Maybe that wasn’t quite a top 1o list per se, but whatever it was, it was brutally effing honest. I know I will be raked over the coals for some of it. Oh well – no guts, no glory. Maybe some lucky woman will read this and have the courage to tell her beloved husband what she really desires. Maybe somewhere a man will sit down with his wife and talk about why they’ve been fighting, why he’s been holding himself back from being what he really is, what he really wants to be with her.

It’s why I am doing this. If this helps just one couple connect, this will be worth it. See you for Day 3… oh dear Lord help me.

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, random thoughts

30 Days of Kink – Day One

April 17, 2012 By Trent Evans

Well here’s something you don’t see everyday: a guy answering the 30 Days of Kink questions. I told my friend Sadey Quinn that I would follow along with her own postings and answer the questions too.

Now it’s time for me to pay the piper.

Some tough guy I am, eh? This is a lot harder then I anticipated. What the hell, and this may ramble some, but here goes (nobody reads this blog anyway)…

Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

My name is Trent Evans and I really, really dislike labels. What, I have to choose something? OK, fine. Dominant, I guess – but you could easily throw in Master, Sadist, spelunker, etc. OK, maybe not spelunker, but still, the labels bother me.

I will put it this way: I enjoy control. Controlling a submissive. Imposing my will on her. There, that’s crystallized enough, I think. I love both physical and psychological control. Here’s where the sadist streak in me comes into play: I am a lifelong spanko (giving, not receiving). Love it, in all its forms, from the simple hand to the cane. It’s all great, amazing. “Impact play” – eh, that term leaves me cold. Just call it spanking, paddling, caning, whatever – and people will immediately identify with it, love it or hate it.

Spanking is so tied up into physical and psychological control (not to mention emotions) that it is the quintessence of imposing your will on another. You make her feel that pain, feel that humiliation (if that’s part of what you’re after; it certainly interests me!), feel the arousal – you just make her feel. It’s as much a visual/tactile enjoyment as it is a psychological one. You tell her she’s to be spanked that evening, and you make her wait all day to find out how, where, with what.

You make her feel.

Trepidation, fear, arousal, pain, anticipation; her sensations and emotions are as important, if not more so, than getting to lay your hand all over her curvy ass as you spank her. There is little that’s more enjoyable in life than watching your sub orgasm, crying out, writhing in spite of, because of, the sensations you’ve made her experience. It’s something maybe only doms (or switches) understand. It’s even better than getting off yourself (not that that isn’t awesome or of paramount importance either). But breaking down her shields, making her surrender to sensation, making her face the real her – the basics of what makes her tick. That my twisted friends is control, and nothing is better. OK, that’s not quite true though, but “Doms/Masters/Sadists” aren’t supposed to say it in public. There is one thing better:

Love.

(Don’t let it get out that I said such a blasphemous thing.)

Maybe that’s getting too far into the whys of things, but there it is, straight from Trent.

You guys bored yet? Don’t answer that.

Now there are aspects of BDSM that I love that may not translate as well from fantasy into real life. Here’s a short list:

Sexual slavery? Awesome.

Humiliation?  :::Pichard voice::: “Engage!”

Pony play? RAD.

Pet Play? Check.

I am fascinated, fascinated, by the concept of consensual non-consent. Think of it as consent by plebiscite, if you will. But I emphasize the consensual part of the equation. It absolutely has to be something she wants, and she has to choose it unequivocally – once.

Really, really difficult to pull off morally (or legally, really), but that one is straight from the darkest, fevered recesses of Trent’s fantasy bank.  Probably TMI? Well TFB (too fucking bad).

I’m going to end the list there, because there is a lot more to it and I think the next 30 days will be better places to share some of this.

:::I can’t believe I am sharing this. I need a drink :::

What do you think? Shut up Trent? Or do you want to hear more?

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Sites Trent Loves

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