As writers are known to do, my mind wanders (sometimes it wanders even when I’m not writing), and when it does I have to set my WIP aside. Sometimes things just can’t be forced, and you have to let the noodle meander a bit. You meticulous outliners out there should try it once in a while:)

To avoid giving my brain a chance to wander, I typically try to minimize distractions while I write. Now, while I don’t pull a nutty Jimmy Cameron and lock myself in a room for two weeks straight with nothing but a stack of notebooks and a box of pens, I DO go to some lengths to focus.

TV? Forget it.

Phone? I literally put it in another room – too tempting.

Ditto the Kindle Fire (the urge to read, even while I am supposed to be writing, is sometimes overwhelming).

What about the internet? Now there is the sticky wicket. Most writers swear by turning it off, or using a non-connected computer, or even writing in :::horrors::: longhand. Me, I can’t do it. The internet has to be there. I need it to answer any number of questions that pop into my head while I am writing (or thinking about what I am writing). It is the greatest boon to writers since the invention of movable type.

As great as the internet is, it’s also easily the biggest distraction for a writer. And, I will be honest:  I have blown a ton of time on the interwebz. I shudder to think what my productivity could be, without its seductive, addictive allure. Writers are by nature endlessly, almost pathologically, curious, and the internet is like crack for curious souls.

At this point, you’re asking yourselves: “Where the hell are you going with this, dude?”

OK, here is my point. Sometimes despite the time sink that are the Interwebz, something makes everything worth it. It happens when you stumble upon a great website. I write erotic romance and erotica. Sex is on my mind a lot. Wow, what a newsflash. Sometimes, I think I’ve read/seen/done it all. Then I come across a site like Taken in Hand. Since my particular area of concentration is BDSM, it seemed inconceivable that I wouldn’t have stumbled across this site long ago. I hadn’t, but I think I know why: it’s not really a site about BDSM per se . What it most definitely is though, is an absolute fucking treasure trove of inner thoughts, fears, and desires of female submissives. I began reading the riveting accounts of real submissives, and before I knew it, 4 hours were gone. POOF. We’re talking HALO levels of time acceleration here; for you non-gamers that means time just goes by really, really fast.

As a “dominant” “sadist” “master” whatever I am (hate labels), it’s like getting the keys to the steam tunnels under Disneyland. We big bad wolves get a peek into the workings of the mind of that most alluring of creatures, the female submissive. You may think you know all there is to know about submissives, but I assure you, when you read the accounts on this massive site, you will learn something new. The subs on the site almost uniformly express their submission as part of a committed heterosexual relationship (there is NO gay/lesbian bashing though), but the funny, scorching hot, sometimes poignant postings and articles will fascinate anyone, regardless of their current relationship status. The insight, humor, wisdom and honest, positive sexuality discussed there is like nowhere else I’ve ever seen. I can’t rave about it enough.

Why do I talk about this in a writing blog? I don’t really know. I just love the place, and for other erotica writers, especially those coming from the dominant’s perspective – there I go labeling myself – they will find it an amazing, edifying, and arousing (both physically and intellectually) place. Click over to it, just go. Now. You won’t regret it.

What do you think? Are there other discussion sites similar to Taken In Hand that you’ve come across?