Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

Hmm, pet peeves. I’m not sure I’ve got anything that really irritates me per se, but there are a few things I see here and there that make me chuckle or shake my head.  Here they are in no particular order:

— Use of the verb “dominate” as a noun (presumably the person means a “Dominant” — e.g. “He’s a sexual Dominant.”). I see this all the time, but I assume most of the time that it’s simply a typo …

— Authors — or just people in general — who maintain that there is only one way (or their way) to do any number of kink activities. Kink is as varied as the people who practice it;  as long as it’s consensual, and all parties involved are enjoying it, there is no “wrong” way IMO. I accept and celebrate that diversity:)

— The mistaken impression that a BDSM author is somehow an expert or an authority on kink. While many BDSM authors are quite well-informed, and a significant number (including myself) self-identify as kinky, it does not make us experts. Most everything comes down to opinion, really. I do my very best with questions, but I’ve — more than once — found myself having to answer questions with “I’m not qualified to give you an opinion.” While I’d love to know the answer to every kink question, sometimes I just have to punt!

— The attempt to mainstream or homogenize kink in fiction makes me chuckle. At some point smoothing the rough/sharp edges renders “kink lite” to be unrecognizable as kink at all. That said, considering what I wrote about in point #2 … vive la différence!

I think that’s about it. I try not to get too worked up about things regarding kink (a change from my younger days), but I’m sure once I post this I’ll think of something I should’ve added:)

Until Day 19!

Best,

Trent