E is for Embarrassment
Hmm, embarrassment. Totally not sexy, right? Come on it’s okay to admit it does nothing for you. It’s my job to try to explain how embarrassment might be hot, so I accept the challenge:)
The concept of embarrassment as a turn-on in itself is one that’s not often spoken of explicitly; it’s sort of “understood” among many of us who’re kinky. Embarrassment is the “less extreme” sibling of humiliation, which is often thought of as a kink in and of itself. I think of embarrassment as the spice or enhancement (see, another E word!) for the main course, whereas Humiliation itself could be the main course (or in this case, the point of whatever the hell we’re doing).Like so many other kinks there is a fine line between the good embarrassment and the bad. Alas, this is a subjective thing, which can make things a little fraught for authors seeking to explore it.
One of the simplest — and in my opinion — one of the sweetest forms of embarrassment, is playing on the sub’s innate bashfulness regarding her body. Perhaps she blushes prettily as she’s ordered to display her charms for her Dom. What she may not realize is that her Dom savors her embarrassment — but not for the reasons she might think. Though he knows she has NOTHING to be embarrassed about — he finds her hot as hell — he lets her go right on being embarrassed. Her Dom thinks she’s gorgeous, but finds her embarrassment at displaying herself equal parts adorable and arousing. Does her own embarrassment mask her own arousal at her “forced” exhibition of her body? Somehow her embarrassment adds that certain je ne sais quoi that makes this something so much more than simply baring a woman’s body. It’s confusing, and wonderful, and mysterious all at once:)
Fortunately, for those of us who write kink and want to explore the allure of embarrassment, there is that one act, that pillar of kink that almost everyone understands — and that almost everyone has personally experienced.
And that would be spanking.
Spanking — whether the good girl kind or the bad girl kind (I heart giving both — I know, not relevant) — is a LOT more than just a hot, stinging bottom. Or at least it should be:)
It’s the ritual of the thing that adds so much more to the comparatively straight forward physical act. Spanking can (and should, if it’s up to me) include elements of forced exhibitionism. The spanker gets to enjoy the sight of her naked body both before and after her punishment. Perhaps she stands in the corner, her soft, round bottom on display as she contemplates the punishment to come (see Anticipation), or instead, she’s led to the corner, still weeping, to be made to exhibit the painful results of her wayward ways for the next 30 minutes.
The husband ordering his wayward wife to lower her panties for her impending punishment, ordering her to turn her bottom toward him as she does so, and making sure she bends at the waist. Embarrassment.
Commenting on the color of her cheeks as you spank her, noting aloud the tell tale sheen of moisture glinting between blatantly exposed pussy lips. Double embarrassment.
Growling at your woman to keep her ass loose while she’s punished, since you like to watch the wobble of her buttocks as your smack them. High Octane embarrassment.
Spanking is more than physical pain — it’s physical pain + submission + embarrassment. The whole becomes much greater than the sum of its parts, but I would argue the embarrassment factor is just as important to a spanking as the ass smacking itself. Or maybe that’s just me:)
Rather than go on and on for thousands of words, I’ll take mercy on you kind souls and end this here. I hope you’ll take some time to visit the other stops on this month-long blog challenge. Happy reading!
Beauty’s major embarrassment is when I make her talk dirty. She cusses in everyday speech and will read a passage with words that when made to said in the heat of kinky play make her stammer and resist. I find it amusing which is what we dominant types do when dealing with causing embarrassment. Her body tells me she loves the feeling caused by her modesty and so I persist, and we both find pleasure even if hers is served up with a side of blushing.
You put it so well here, Jolynn. There is just something about the verbal aspect of things … nothing like it. It just adds a little (or a lot) extra to make things even better. Poor Beauty — I suspect she’s completely outmatched by you when it comes to dirty talk. If you do it in RL half as well as you write it, her blushing must be almost perpetual (in a good way, of course:)
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Loved your post on Embarrassment and explaining how delightful it is from the dominant pov.
Thanks, Melody. I wish I’d said more — I probably could’ve been clearer or expanded on things — but I don’t want to make people slog through post after post of my endless blabbering:)
Thanks for stopping by!
I feel weird to just write ‘yum’ whenever I visit here…
I find being made to stand against the wall with hands on it…bracing myself… so embarrassing and so freaking hot at the same time. I can’t get enough of it. Even thinking of it now…yum. There it is. Yes, there is definitely something to embarrassment and more to humiliation. It’s its one kink, absolutely.
“Yum” TOTALLY says it all — and it’s always welcome here;)
I 100% agree with you on the against the wall thing. I can’t even explain it — but it’s hot. You write this stuff so damned well, I’m constantly picking my jaw off the floor when I’m reading you books. I’m thinking: “YES! She gets it!”
Once letter H comes around I can, umm, expand on this topic. Should be fun:)
I love this: Spanking is more than physical pain — it’s physical pain + submission + embarrassment. The whole becomes much greater than the sum of its parts… This was pure poetry, and so very true. I hate the embarrassment factor when it comes to submitting for my own spankings, and yet, there is no denying that it’s the embarrassment that often makes those the hottest for me.
Aww, shucks, that’s so nice of you to say! Glad to hear it resonated with you. I think only those of us who are wired this way really understand it — so it’s good to know I conveyed things at least semi-cogently:)
Yes it is another almost poetic post, it’s almost like reading one of your books 😉
Hurry up Trent, don’t let the guys down in all this A-Z girl power stuff!
Thank you for saying so, Han:)
Oh I’m definitely going to get caught up. There are some great letters coming up. Trent will be hitting his stride…
Great post, Trent!
I love the psychological side of spankings.
Embarrassment (at the right time), is very arousing.
🙂
Of course, I completely agree with you, Katherine. It adds something that’s difficult to define, a frisson, a nervous energy to the proceedings. This ties back into my Anticipation post about how so much of what we do is in our heads (or is enhanced by what’s in our heads).
Thanks for commenting:)
You mentioned on “H” talking about embarrassment and humiliation more in depth. Yes!! Please! Both are required when reading and writing spanking stories . Note to self: don’t read Trent on your phone while at work!!
Yes, I think I’ll chip away at aspects of the big H. I think it’s just too sprawling of topic for one blog post. I think I had 5000 words written for the H post alone, then I thought: “What are you doing?? Spread that shit out, pal. Pace yourself.”
I take my writing being NSFW as a ringing endorsement:) Thank you!