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You are here: Home / Archives for Spanking Romance Roundtable Discussion

Spanking Round Table — Anal Punishment or Play in Books: Hot or Not?

October 9, 2014 By Trent Evans

new_table

Like a spanko moth to a perv red-rosy flame, I was drawn to this one. Okay, now that I’ve lost three quarters of the readers as result of that atrocity of a simile, I’ll continue:)

First, thank you to Corinne Alexander for proposing this month’s discussion, and thanks to Spanking Romance Reviews for hosting.

Here’s the subject for this week’s discussion:

Once upon a time in spanking romance land spankings & punishments consisted of strictly spanking; hand or implement and bottom. In the last couple of years spanking romance authors have delved a little beyond just straight spanking. It seems that now more often than not a little or a lot of anal play & punishment are added to the scenes to increase the spice factor.

Corinne was very nice to us in presenting a few questions to go along with this month’s subject, which I’ll answer in detail below.

This is pretty much exactly how we think.
This is pretty much exactly how we think.

1. Does anal punishment/play in a spanking romance get you all hot and bothered or is it a definite scene skipper for you?

I’m a dyed-in-the-wool spanko, so to me, the idea of a spanko who didn’t like anal punishment/play would be akin to being a race car driver who didn’t like to go fast.

Does. Not. Compute.

Since I’m coming at this from the Dom’s viewpoint, I’ll simply say that when we say we enjoy punishing that disobedient sub’s bottom, we sure as hell don’t mean only those pale, round buttocks of hers. We spanko/Doms are obsessed with all parts/aspects of a woman’s ass, so yeah, she ain’t gettin’ off that easy. Why am I suddenly dropping g’s? I blame lack of caffeine, or the fact that I’m an idiot. You choose.

2. What elements do you like?

Why do I always want to blurt out “What’s not to like?” Sorry, okay, right — the question.

In spanking/BDSM fiction, the sub’s body/mind/thoughts are often the “landscape” where most of the story takes place.

(I would’ve said “wonderland” in place of landscape, but any word that evokes a John Mayer song, even tangentially = “Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is FULL.”)

Where was I? Right, what do I like. So much depends on context, but in fiction I love the fact that anal play/punishment is a sort of verboten activity. I’m not sure why it is, but in the popular consciousness it’s often still something off the beaten (heh) path. Any time you have that element of the forbidden it’s usually going to amp up the heat level.

In the context of D/s — which is the natural concentration/orientation my fiction always seems to lead back to — touching and/or punishing the anus is just about the most private, invasive, intimate thing one can do to a sub. What more effective way to emphasize and confirm her status as subject to her Dom than to require her to surrender that most private part of her body to both his pleasure and discipline?

Spank Me Once

3. What elements are turn offs to you?

:::crickets:::: :::tumbleweeds:::

Okay, I can’t think of anything that turns me off about anal play/punishment, so here’s another picture, just because:

 

4. Do you personally add this element to your stories?

Definitely — and I’ve taken some fire in the past for doing so. In one of my stories, Maintenance Night, the hero uses anal sex as a “punishment” in that he’s using it to push his submissive wife’s boundaries — which she ultimately loves. Several people were upset or disturbed by that idea, and instead perceived it as borderline abusive. Of course, the hero wasn’t abusive — not in the least — but I could also see how someone, confronted with their boundaries (as a reader) being pushed in this way would be squicked. Different strokes for different folks, right?

I’ve learned to tread, um, carefully, on this particular ground, but it’s ground I intend to explore in most, if not all, of my books. To me, as both a reader and a writer, the spanking/punishment just is missing something, if anal play/punishment isn’t included along with all that ass smacking…

bad-girls_o_1726585
Can anyone really disagree with this?

5. Feel free to add your thoughts as both a reader & a writer!

I am REALLY glad to see other authors exploring these themes. I think readers love it, and they are always looking for something new, an aspect of this crazy thing we do that they haven’t quite read about before. So, I hope — and trust — that this evolution will continue. Yes, I know that’s me being TOTALLY selfish. I’m at peace with it.

I would add one more thing before I sign off on this week’s discussion. If any of you would like to read an example of just blue giant star HOT anal play and punishment, get thee immediately over to the book listing for “Pets: Bach’s Story” by Darla Phelps. (I know we’re not supposed to do promo, so I won’t link to it here directly). This book has an extended sequence of anal play/punishment that I haven’t seen equaled anywhere. If you haven’t read that book, go now, and pick it up — you will not regret it.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll visit the other blogs participating in this week’s discussion. Until next time!

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Filed Under: Spanking Romance Roundtable Discussion Tagged With: anal play, Anal punishment, anal sex, spanking, spanking romance reviews

Spanking Roundtable Discussion — How have your spanking stories changed?

August 27, 2014 By Trent Evans

new_table

 

 

This month’s Spanking Roundtable Discussion is hosted by Cara Bristol, who was inspired by a comment by Natasha Knight, who said when she’d first begun writing spanking stories, they were erotic rather than disciplinary. Cara posed the following intriguing question to this month’s Roundtable:

How have your spanking stories evolved since you began writing?

This month’s Spanking Roundtable Discussion is hosted by Cara Bristol, who was inspired by a comment by Natasha Knight, who said she’d when she first began writing spanking stories, they were erotic rather than disciplinary.

How have your spanking stories evolved since you began writing?

1. Do you do anything differently now than when you first began writing?

The short answer to this is that I do everything differently from what I used to do as a novice. [Read more…]

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Filed Under: Spanking Romance Roundtable Discussion, Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: erotic romance in kink, evolution of a kink writer, kink acceptance, kink inclusivity, kink shaming, psychological aspects of spanking, psychology of corporal punishment, punishments, spanking romance reviews, spanking roundtable

Spanking Round Table: “Spanking and Feminism”

November 7, 2013 By Trent Evans

new_table

 

Hello all,

When my friend Renee Rose asked me to join this month’s round table discussion I was surprised and honored … and I almost declined. Why? Well, I’m a guy, and at first, I wasn’t sure that my viewpoint would really be particularly relevant to this particular subject. I took several days to think about it though, and decided that perhaps, if nothing else, I might be able to offer a sort of “outsider’s view”. We’ll see if I succeed or not:)

At first blush, Spanking and Feminism would seem to suffer a fatal incongruity. How on Earth could these possibly be part of the same discussion, let alone be somehow compatible? When you really think about it though, the growing acceptance of one (spanking), is a result of the triumph of the other (feminism).

I can hear the peanut gallery coughing “bullshit!” à la the Delta House right about now (those of you under the age of 30 will have no idea what that reference meant, sorry about that). Stick with me though, because this will make sense in a minute.

First, I want to define for this post what I mean by “spanking”. I’m a male, and I identify as a heterosexual Dominant, so for my purposes, I’m referring here to spanking in a male dominant/female submissive context. Furthermore, since — in this context — the female being spanked is the submissive, I’m going to necessarily use the terms “spanking” and “submissive” more or less interchangeably here.

Now, how can the growing acceptance of spanking be a result of the triumph of feminism? In many ways, spanking, and the fact that women would want, and sometimes ask, their men to spank them, seems anathema to nearly everything taught and believed by classical feminism. But for me, when you get down to its core, feminism is supposed to give women choices, options, the power to be who and what they really are.

I really see spanking as a manifestation of just that  — women choosing to explore their sexuality in the way that makes the most sense to them, that gives them the most pleasure, that affirms what they believe.  Further, it seems to me that embracing spanking and female sexual submission sometimes could be a way of pushing back against classical feminist dogma that occasionally seeks to enforce conformity to a certain set of beliefs.

As an aside, I am blessed in that most of my close friends happen to be female, and this is one of the most surprising things I’ve learned from them. Often they feel “guilt-tripped” into acting/believing a certain way — almost as if they’ll be viewed as betraying the cause if they choose to go a different path. To me, submissive women, and especially those submissive women who are brave enough to “out” themselves as such, are exercising the freedom that the success of feminism has brought them. (Full disclosure: Outside the confines of the bedroom, I’m pretty much fully “in the closet” vis-a-vis my kinkiness, so I admire the fuck out of women who are out of the closet kinky — and thus ends Trent’s non-sequitur theater).

Maybe some see spanking/submission as a subversion of the ideals of feminism. I know some see it as a giant step backward for feminism (the success of 50 Shades spawned innumerable conversations and debates along these lines). But ultimately, I keep circling back to what feminism means to me — and that’s freedom. Before feminism, if you were a self-identified sexual submissive of any stripe, I’d imagine you’d keep fucking quiet about it for self-preservation reasons. Now, if you choose to (again, that freedom thing), you can openly embrace submission as being an expression of who you really are inside. I’ve said before on this blog that submission is a fundamentally brave act, and I still believe that. The fact that some women identify as submissive knowing that a certain cohort of women will reflexively see that as weak at best, or a betrayal at worst, just makes me admire their courage all the more:)

To those self-identified feminists who are troubled by what women running around asking to have their asses tanned means for the movement or for the state of women in general, I would gently suggest this: perhaps this embrace of spanking, and kink specifically, and female sexual empowerment in general, is a direct manifestation of the hard-won victories of feminism’s past. Instead of being troubled by what they see, I would hope those feminists would be bursting with pride at the freedoms (sexual or otherwise) all of their past struggles have brought modern women.

Rather than see spanking and sexual submission as a “threat” to the ideals of feminism, I sincerely hope that more people open their minds — and hearts — and see spanking/sexual submissiveness/kink for what it is:  an expression of the true natures of these women, and an embracing of themselves as positive, sexual beings.  What’s not to love about that?

I hope you’ll take the time to visit all of the other blogs in this month’s discussion (see below). There is some fascinating and thought-provoking stuff being posted by these ladies. Thanks for reading!

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Filed Under: Spanking Romance Roundtable Discussion Tagged With: BDSM, female sexual empowerment, kink shaming, modern feminism vs classical feminism, spanking, spanking and feminism, spanking romance reviews, spanking roundtable

Round Table Discussion: Submission

September 19, 2013 By Trent Evans

roundtable_first_week_2-2

 

 

First of all, I want to thank the lovely ladies over at Spanking Romance Reviews for letting a dude get a seat at the table for this one. I hope I don’t make you regret it:)

This week’s topic is Submission and what it means to me.

First, it’s best to define for myself what submission means. I’ve never actually thought about what this means to me, so this will be a learning experience for me too!

Submission, at its core, is the voluntary relinquishing of control over one’s body, mind or spirit — or all of the above. At first blush I suppose that looks rather … scary. But when you think about it some more it ceases to be scary and instead becomes something very powerful, even beautiful. The reason for this is because it’s voluntary — it’s consensual. It’s something done to enhance the sexual pleasure of both the dominant and the submissive.

I — obviously — come at this subject from a Dominant male’s perspective so in some ways I’m a little like the kid pressing his nose up against the window, fogging up the glass, trying to get a glimpse inside the room where all the cool kids hang out. But, since dominance and submission are two sides of the same coin, I think I can speak (relatively) intelligently on the subject;) I hope so anyway.

D/s is essentially a dynamic of power and the unequal exchange thereof, and to me submission is the cornerstone of the endeavor. The submission itself is that exchange of the submissive’s power over self, given to the Dominant to do with what he wills. Just that aspect of it alone is mind-blowing — having that very real, yet equally symbolic, control over another human being. Of course, like so much in life there is a duality to this: the very same exhilaration from the Dominant’s perspective can of course be a dangerous thing, in the hands of an irresponsible, immoral, or just plain stupid Dominant.  So, in a sense, this awareness of the danger, of how easily that power can be abused, is part of the excitement of the D/s dynamic.

The ability of a woman to submit is a fundamentally brave act. To be blunt — I don’t know how the hell you subs do it! I’m just really glad that you do:) This is one of the many reasons why I admire submissives. They are courageous. To voluntarily make yourself subject to another is just … it’s stunning to me. I know it’s a cliche to say this, but that submission is a gift. It’s a statement saying: “I trust you not to abuse this power I’ve given you. I adore you, I care for you, I love you enough, to give you this, to make myself vulnerable to you.”

How different is this, really — when you strip everything away — from what a vanilla relationship is? At some point someone has to make themselves vulnerable, to open themselves to potentially being hurt, wronged, even betrayed. Yet, the urge to connect, to be intimate, gives us the courage to take that leap — because the rewards of intimacy can be so sweet, so profound. It’s worth the risk.

One of the things that appeals most to me about submission is the inherent vulnerability in it. I think it’s almost a proxy for the vulnerability often seen in femininity, that same vulnerability that speaks to a good man. The Dominant man feeds off that vulnerability; it fuels both his sexual excitement AND his urge to protect her. In the honest Dom (and in my case, a Dom with a sadistic streak) that vulnerability can fuel his need to exercise, to emphasize, his power over his submissive. Exerting your power over her is itself exciting, in its own way as exciting as the sexual acts themselves, because it involves that most important of sexual organs — the brain. Broken down even further, it’s almost as if the vulnerability of the submissive fires that primal, animalistic urge that exists deep down in the inherited DNA of humans, back to that duality of men, who eternally struggle with the urges both to conquer and protect.

I’ll circle back now, before I blather on any further. I can see everyone’s eyes are glazed over:/

Submission is trust. Trust is the foundation of the D/s dynamic and relationship. Just as pleasure cannot exist without pain, Dominance cannot be exercised (or enjoyed) without submission. Just as women make the world go round, submissives provide the essential, indispensable ingredient which makes D/s possible. Without it the world would be a gray, lonely place for men like me;)

Thank you for reading, and I hope you take the time to read the other posts in this week’s round table discussion. You can read the other posts here: http://spankingromance.com/?p=644

Until next time,

Trent

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Filed Under: Spanking Romance Roundtable Discussion, Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: D/s, Dom's perspective, Dominance and submission, duality of D/s, submssion, thoughts on kink, Trent Evans, Trent's blathering, women make the world go round

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