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30 Days of Kink — Day 22

August 28, 2013 By Trent Evans

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

This is going to be a rather short blog post (I heard that relieved applause back there). I don’t think there really is much of a difference in keeping a BDSM vs. vanilla relationship healthy. It’s a relationship, period, and as such it takes communication, compatibility, communication, honesty, and communication:)

To me the only real area that might be markedly different vis-a-vis vanilla vs. kinky is in the area of sexual compatibility. Many kinky people try to maintain a vanilla relationship and find that it’s simply not something that will work.

I am one of those people.

I’ve tried vanilla … and I’m 99% sure I’ll never do it again. For many of us, trying to maintain a vanilla relationship is like living your life holding a part of yourself back, hiding that important, even vital, aspect of your sexuality as if it’s something that’s … optional. With me it’s not optional, at least not anymore! I suppose that realization often comes with time, and life experience, and most of all, perspective.

The bottom line is that it’s being true to who I really am for the first time in my life. Many people live their entire lives without being able to be comfortable with who they are. I managed to do it though, and I highly recommend it:)

Until Day 23.

Trent

 

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, bdsm relationship, BDSM relationships, being at peace, communication, communication compatibility, mysteries of vanilla sexuality, sexual compatibility, time and life, Trent Evans, vanilla relationship

30 Days of Kink — Day 21

August 24, 2013 By Trent Evans

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Picking just one book here is damn near impossible. There are way too many stellar BDSM books, both fiction and non-fiction. Since I happen to be a smut slinger (and to keep this blog post of a manageable size), I’ll limit this to my favorite BDSM fiction book, and include a list of ten BDSM books I think any kinky person should read.

Favorite BDSM book:

Owned and Owner by Anneke Jacob

I have to admit that I’m in awe of Anneke Jacob and her writing chops, and I think her first published novel is still her best. A better book on total power exchange in a consensual non-consent context you will never find (though Jacob’s second novel As She’s Told comes very, very close). This is a truly brave,  even visionary book that’s chock full of great writing, indelible images, and real, raw emotions. I’ve read it several times, and each time I find something new. This is a remarkable book, by a supremely talented writer.

Oh yeah, and it’s nuclear hot, too.

Ten Works of BDSM fiction Every Kinky Person Should Read:

Ice Queen/Mirror of My Soul — Joey W. Hill

A harrowing, moving two-part epic of forgiveness, acceptance, and love. Perhaps the best exploration of a female switch protagonist I’ve ever read, and the books are full of very hot D/s scenes. The emotional build-up of these stories is second to none.

The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy — A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)

A sprawling, beautifully written exploration of the darker side of desire and love. You name the flavor of BDSM, and you’re probably going to find it here. Ms. Rice doesn’t once flinch in her depiction of this fantasy land of pain and pleasure. With the exception of The Story of O, no work has been more influential on modern BDSM erotica.

Story of O: A Novel — Pauline Réage

How many of us somehow got our hands on a copy of this, and read it surreptitiously, so rapt were we as we turned its pages, that we sometimes forgot to breathe? So much evocative imagery is packed into such spare prose, as the book takes the reader on a very dark journey indeed. A truly unique example of BDSM erotica, I regard this story as the seminal work in modern erotic fiction.

The Reluctant Dom — Tymber Dalton

The single most moving (and wrenching) book I’ve ever read. I’ve read it twice and both times it tore me apart. That said, it’s soo worth it. This story is all about love — oh dear God, such LOVE —  but it’s packed with hot BDSM too. Anyone who reads this and isn’t reduced to tears may need to put out an APB for their missing soul. This is simply a stunning book, and it’s nothing short of a towering achievement for Ms. Dalton.

The Territory Within — P.N. Dedeaux

A fascinating and twisted tale of a very special country with its own brand of institutionalized male dominance. “A Dom’s Dream” could be another title for this one, and it is at times harsh, and at others wickedly sly. Some of the BDSM scenes in this book are some of the hottest I’ve ever read. Serious corporal punishment, lots of pain, and rigorously enforced (sometimes of the dubious consent variety) female submission is pervasive in this story. This is definitely NOT a romance, but the tale is ultimately a happy one — once the reader is wrung out from the journey, that is.

As She’s Told — Anneke Jacob

If anything, this is even more of a risk for Ms, Jacob, since this story takes place in a contemporary setting rather than the sci-fi setting of her previous Owned and Owner. Another epic masterpiece from Anneke Jacob that explores just what might be possible in a modern TPE relationship if both parties want it bad enough.As thought-provoking as it is hot. And it is very, very hot.

Hall of Infamy (Pleasure and Pain) — Amanita Virosa

Perhaps one of the best corporal punishment oriented books I’ve ever read, this one has plenty of other kinks in it too. I’ve long suspected this author is a writer in another genre, because they are much too adept with description here, the characterization too deft for someone with only a handful of published works to their name. The character of Lady Alicia especially in this book is equal parts malevolent and mesmerizing.

Natural Law — Joey W. Hill

One of Ms. Hill’s best, and a quite accessible male sub book — even for those who don’t normally read male sub books (read: people like me). The chemistry between Violet and Mac is positively electric, and the BDSM is plentiful and hot. Most of all, this is just a superb example of modern erotic romance.

Citadel Of Servitude — Aran Ashe

Like the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, Ashe’s Chronicles of Tormunil depicts a lush, yet often harsh, BDSM fantasy world. However, the Tormunil series ups the ante in the sheer breadth of the fetishes it explores. Aran Ashe has an unparalleled imagination, and it is given free rein in this series. There are five books in the Chronicles of Tormunil, all of which are good, but this one (Book 2) is the best of the lot.

Eliska — Von Mechtingen

A very interesting storytelling device is used here (a sort of one-way epistolary structure) and the setting — a backwater province in central Europe during the height of the power of the Holy Roman Empire — is nearly unique in BDSM erotica. The way the author writes this tale, you feel the oppressiveness, even hopelessness, of the setting. Somehow this gloom adds to the eroticism, and the reader is completely immersed in this dark, cruel world of hundreds of years ago. Lots of corporal punishment, cruel bondage, and fuckings (of both the consensual and not-so-consensual varieties) galore.

Kushiel’s Dart (Kushiel’s Legacy) — Jacqueline Carey

Ms. Carey might very well be horrified to be included in this list, but her study of the heroine Phédre’s struggles with the profound consequences of her deep-seated masochism is stunning. This incredible, epic fantasy is something I think any submissive woman should read — even if she doesn’t like fantasy. It’s that good.

There are a whole bunch of others that could easily have made this list too, but I had to cut it off somewhere. Maybe I’ll do another list of BDSM books another time:)

Until Day 22.

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, Amanita Virosa, Anne Rice, Anneke Jacob, Aran Ashe, bdsm books, bdsm erotica, Jacqueline Carey, Joey W. Hill, kinky person, mirror of my soul, P.N. Dedeaux, Pauline Réage, raw emotions, to ten list of BDSM fiction works, Trent's favorites, Tymber Dalton, Von Mechtingen

30 Days of Kink — Day 20

August 22, 2013 By Trent Evans

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

I’d like to talk about two different topics here — one I don’t understand, and one I’m curious about.

“Stop doing kink that way! You’re going to ruin everything!”

I’m probably going to step on some toes here, but one of the things I don’t understand with regard to kink is why a significant cohort of kink practitioners/proponents feel a need to lecture or instruct others on what the “proper” form of kink expression is.  Note that I’m not referring to people who talk about safety — it should go without saying that advocating safety is a good thing.

No, what I’m getting at is this idea that’s put forth that certain types of kink are beyond the pale, or that if anyone decides to engage in activity outside the protective confines of SSC or RACK then they have somehow gone off the reservation. Often it’s quite subtle, but I’m seeing it more and more online — and it baffles me. One of the best, most freeing aspects of kink is the basically subversive nature of it; in many ways, kink is a rebellion against the confines of vanilla sexuality or mores. I’m guessing that that very nature of kink is the source of at least some of its appeal.

There is an ongoing movement afoot to get kink entirely removed as a psychological disorder from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (commonly referred to as the DSM). The most recent iteration, DSM-V, while not removing paraphilias as a disorder per se, has demoted the status of paraphilias from a full-blown disorder by applying a nebulous if/then equivocation to potential diagnosis: if the paraphilia causes distress then it is a disorder, otherwise, go about your perverted ways, you sickos!

I think this particular type of reevaluation is a good thing indeed, despite the gray areas that remain in APA treatment of kink. Those who’ve followed along with me know that I usually hesitate to deem the experiences of the LGBT community as analogous to those of the kink community (it’s difficult to deem anything as a clear analog to kink), but it is worth noting that the evolution of the treatment of the two respective communities by modern psychology seems to be following a somewhat similar trajectory. The bottom line, to me, is that things appear to be (slowly) moving in the right direction.

But what I’m seeing more and more often is this tendency to “normalize” (read: homogenize) kink in the popular culture. When I see instances of it, the tone often feels like a clumsy sort of kink sales roadshow; frequently it’s discussed in terms or ways that are “lighter” or interspersed with (or drowned in) nervous humor. Perhaps this is an effort to make the “lifestyle” less threatening to people out in the vanilla world? Or maybe it’s just that these kink normalizers simply want to help destigmatize kink? If so, their motives are laudable. However, an effort to destigmatize kink that results in a watering down of the things that make kink distinctive is ultimately (IMHO) self-defeating. Maybe I’m weird — okay, not much “maybe” about that — but I don’t want kink to be “normalized”. Life is full of enough guidelines, rules, and laws as it is, so the last thing I want is kink forced into some neat, tidy, sanitized box.

It’s possible (even likely) that I’m not seeing the “big picture” with this normalization of kink, but what I’ve seen thus far is … troubling. If there are any out there who’d like to explain to me why this brand of kink normalization is a great thing, I’d love to hear from you — either in the comments or privately via the contact form above. I’m genuinely baffled, so I’m open to being edumacated on this subject:)

Now, on to the “curious” topic.

I think it’s fairly clear where my own orientation within kink falls. No, Sheri, bat-shit crazy is not my orientation:) Where was I? Oh yes. Curious.

I am very curious about female switches. Always have been. I’m going to digress a little here, but I promise it will eventually steer back on topic. In fiction, I’m not particularly a fan of femdom where the Domme treats the male sub as a disgusting worm, with really heavy humiliation, and where she generally regards him with outright contempt. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with that particular kink though. It’s just not for me. YKINMKBTOK.

What does sometimes interest me, if it’s written well, is the depiction of “strong” male submissives in a more loving (though still strict) D/s dynamic with their Domme. Joey W Hill does this particularly well. I’m certainly not normally oriented toward the male sub mindset, but when depicted in that way, I can definitely see the motivation, feel how that dynamic might work for the couple. It’s something I have to be able to do with female subs when I write about them, so I think it’s valuable to be able to get into that headspace with a male sub too. This is where female switches come in.

They are comfortable in both roles, though in my (admittedly limited) interaction with real-life switches, I’ve noticed that they often seem to lean toward one side more than the other. What fascinates me about them is that they don’t see things in a binary way; they don’t feel either dominant or submissive, rather they seem to have a fluid sort of orientation that’s adaptable to the situation at hand. I actually admire them for being that comfortable with themselves that they aren’t threatened by embracing both halves of the D/s dynamic.

Even as I admire them, I’m curious as to how they actually do it. To be blunt, I would not feel comfortable in a male submissive role (I think I’d be constantly trying to take over and do shit my way), so it amazes me when other people can be both dominant and submissive, depending upon the needs or wants of the situation or relationship. I don’t know. I’m not 100% closed off to trying it — I’ll try just about anything once — but it’s definitely not natural for me:)

If there are any switches out there who’d like to chime in with how they’re able to do it, I’d definitely love to hear your take.

Until Day 21.

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, APA, baffled Trent, BDSM psychology, BDSM safety, D/s, destigmatizing kink, DSM-V, female submission, female switches, health, kink normalization, kink shaming, male submission, mental-health, paraphilias, trent's thoughts

30 Days of Kink — Day 19

July 20, 2013 By Trent Evans

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

In many ways, this is one of those chicken or the egg/which came first questions. Have I embraced kink because my life has improved (e.g. I’m more comfortable with myself), or has kink demonstrably improved how I view and live my life? I don’t suppose it really matters either way when you get right down to it, as the answer is an unqualified ‘yes’.

First and foremost, and most surprisingly, it’s helped me just relax about being who I am, about being different than the “norm”. So you’re a dude who likes to spank women, who likes to run the show in the bedroom. Big effing deal. There are hundreds of thousands, maybe millions like you in this country alone. Welcome to a very large club! So, you like to write erotica and erotic romance soaked in BDSM. Big whoop — there are hundreds, thousands more who do the same thing. I think realizing that you are not alone, that you aren’t a simple aberration of the human condition really helps. I suppose the Intertubez are an integral part of that as well:)

In a larger sense though, discovering this entire world outside of your little tiny, insular existence is equal parts exhilarating, and humbling. Not only are you not alone, but you aren’t even that uncommon in the larger world of kink. To some that might be disturbing as it might lessen the sense of uniqueness that they may pride themselves on. Hard to tell, but for me, it was a huge relief:)

Secondly, kink has certainly helped me understand people better, even vanilla people. I’m going to take a wild guess here, and state that, by and large, kinky people are somewhat more open about sex and sexuality than most people. I understand that this is a gross generalization, but I think it’s probably fairly accurate. In my case, it’s definitely opened my eyes to the motivations of those around me, allowed me to perceive some of the subtler interpersonal interactions and cues that many of us are subconsciously aware of, but don’t necessarily consciously perceive. What I mean by this, specifically, is how driven many (if not most) people are by their base animal instincts. Modern human culture and social mores have necessarily put a brake on these urges, redirected them, channeled them into (sometimes) more constructive endeavors, but those drives, those urges, remain, as viscerally vital to all of us as fear or hunger are. This probably sounds like a bunch of foofy shit to most of you, but hopefully a few of you get what I’m trying to say here;)

Lastly, kink has unexpectedly allowed me to understand myself. It’s been a way to help me sort out who the fuck I am. I’m not particularly deep or complex, but oddly enough, those parts of me that were forever an inscrutable mystery to me have started to make a helluva lot more sense since I’ve been able to admit, to be at peace with who I am. Once I could make sense of the tangled mess that was me, it not only helped me understand others, it helped me empathize with others. My friend, and blogging partner over at Romancing The Kink, the talented Natasha Knight, has a famous quote at the end of her e-mails that I’ve always liked, and one it’s something that I think perfectly crystallizes what many of us who are kinky go through inside our own heads:

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Jesus, this all sounds like self-indulgent navel-gazing from me, doesn’t it? I’m going to do all of you a big favor and STFU for now:)

Until Day 20.

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: 30 Days of Kink, BDSM psychology, kink acceptance, Natasha Knight, random thoughts, Romancing The Kink, thoughts on kink, Trent Evans

Author Interview: Sheri Savill

July 13, 2013 By Trent Evans

Recently, I got a chance to interview author Sheri Savill, one of my co-bloggers (along with Natasha Knight) over at Romancing The Kink. We talked about several subjects, including her personal take on kink, and the writing of her newest book, Bound for Disappointment: A Parody. I had a great time talking with her, and I hope you enjoy the interview!

Trent: Sheri, why don’t you introduce yourself.

Sheri Savill: Hi Trent, I’m Sheri. Nice to meet you.

Dude, thank you so much for having me on your blog! This feels a bit odd. I know you from Romancing the Kink, of course, but being over here, this close to the heat source that is Her Troika? Is it warm in here? Singe. Why, yes I have had a lot of espresso this morning, too. Intro? I’m Sheri Savill and I write smut. I have a couple books out (three now) and I personally like to read (and try to write) the darker types of BDSM erotica, but I’m not a “kink snob.” Well, maybe a little.

Trent: Bound For Disappointment, your newly released parody on BDSM fiction writing, had me literally cackling by page two! How did you come up with the idea to do a parody on the subject we all know and love?

 Sheri: Thank you, check’s in the mail. Let’s see. I remember I’d just finished up Marked for Submission and was thinking how nice it would be to rest of some laurels, but then I remembered I didn’t have any laurels. Brain was in a brown-out, utterly blank -– and I mean blank like a magnet had been dragged over it and erased everything in there except this one tiny sticky-note (“milk, bread, eggs”). No fucking clue what to try writing next. All the smut had left the building. A black day for smut.

Writing snark is something I’ve always done. So my two remaining brain cells had what we smut writers call a “brainstorming session”:

Sheri’s Brain Cell 1: “You hear something?”

Sheri’s Brain Cell 2: “Nope. Go back to sleep.”

Sheri’s Brain Cell 1: “K.”

Depressing. I was desperate. So I started toying with the idea of humor in BDSM. Right now, there are a shit-ton of those “50 Shades” parodies out there.  Not what I wanted to do at all. Then it hit me. Write what you “know.” So I came up with a goofy smut author trying to deal with the business of smut writing. It’s a very simple, silly book. You’ll notice that I cleverly left the ending open to sequels (MAKE IT STOP!) in case I need to snark more later. Which I bet I will. I have a lot of angst.

 

Trent: You write smoking hot (seriously, smoking) BDSM erotica, and the range you exhibit in being able to write both smut and brutally on-target satire amazes me. Do you have another humor writing alter-ego, or is this more of an experiment in comedy writing for you?

Sheri: Aw, shucks and stuff, thank you so much for that. But, really, I’m just a beginner here. I wrote only non-fiction for a long time, sold a few things when I tried. People would tell me my emails were funny. So, sometimes an idea would start with a friend in email, and then turn into this crazy thing that I’d adapt and post/publish. I blogged “vanilla” humor for ten years or so; had a dedicated little following of über-bored strangers who kept egging me on for more. Nice enough people, but obviously not very discerning when it comes to quality humor. Crack will do that to people.

 

Trent: Was DOM (or any of the other characters) based on someone you know in your real life?

Sheri: Now now, Sir Trentmeister, I don’t think we really want to go THERE, do we? Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental! I will say that these are general types I’ve observed over the years. And ask any female erotica author, there’s always that online “Dom” (DOM_LOL is the screen name I always see in my head), contacting you, trying to get you to let him cyber-spank you, isn’t there? Hello? I’m hunched over a keyboard, sitting in a wrinkled t-shirt and gym shorts with a bag of stale Doritos. There’s a snoring dog a few feet from me on a sofa. So, sure, I would love you to come over right now and spank me and then we can get in your private jet and see London from the air, Mistah Bond. But the stuff about the smut-writing business in general, the stresses of trying to handle hateful-hateful-hateful (Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!) reviews and keep the books coming … yeah, that’s all real of course. A Dom on a moped? I may have made that up, can’t remember.

 

Trent: I’m always fascinated in the personal stories of authors. I hope I won’t get too personal here (feel free to decline to answer) but I wondered if you’d be able to tell us when you first knew you were submissive/kinky?

Sheri:  I have no problem admitting that I was thinking “weird” thoughts as early as pre-puberty. I read gothic novels by Victoria Holt and Daphne du Maurier and loved that whole “young girl going to work for a mysterious Master in his dark mansion on the moors” thing. But when I read those, I would mentally drift and add things to the stories, in my head. For example, I remember thinking, “… and then Master Tormented-Soul grabs her very roughly, spinning her ‘round, forcing her up against a cold stone wall –- a dungeon? — and he enters her from behind and she tries to stop him — “oh we mustn’t!” — but she can’t stop him because he’s so strong and determined and mad with lust, so he’s holding her pinned and then his hands jerk her skirts up so he can ram into her, and meanwhile, her breasts are popping out of the top of her low-cut gown, smashing into the cold wall now as he rams into her, and her nipples are hard and scratching up and down against the stone as he pounds her, gives her what she craves, and she’s breathless as he’s biting her ear and her neck and saying all this depraved shit in a hoarse whisper, and he’s actually hurting her, but SHE LIKES IT …”

So, no, I really didn’t have any thoughts about being submissive or kinky. 😉

 

Trent: Are the events in your erotica books drawn from real life, fantasy, or both?

Sheri: Didn’t you already press me on this earlier re: Bound for Disappointment? And I deftly evaded your … probings, I believe. I misdirected. I serpentined. And yet here you are trying it again. OK. I’ll say this: some are real, I have been to a couple dungeons, and there are whips and chains in the house, and there have been for years and years. Have I been gangbanged? No. Would I try it under the right circumstances? Yes. I’m very much into the carpe diem thing. But I’m not crazy, and certainly not stupid, and if I get a single “wut r u waring let me [blank] you, you naughty slut” contact after being on your blog I’m forwarding all that shit to you and we have to post them publicly. Deal?

 

Trent: I love that you fearlessly attack some kinks that many others seem to be afraid to explore (verbal and physical humiliation, degradation, and objectification being ones that are foremost in my mind). Do you write about these because you want to help others see that it’s okay to be turned on by these things, or because they personally turn you on?

Sheri: Good question. I write that stuff because I like it, both in real life and in my smut-reading. I know for a fact that other women like the same things I like. Someone is buying a lot of very dark D/s themed erotica out there. Women. Lots of women.

 

Trent: Could you ever write erotica that didn’t actually turn you on? Have you ever, and if so, what was it?

Sheri: No way. I can’t imagine phoning it in. I did have an interesting experiment once, where I was trying to write a story idea that was given to me by someone else. And I couldn’t get into it at all. Didn’t happen. So I learned that apparently my smuttiness has to come from somewhere inside me, as lame as it might be. The darker things, it’s all stuff that I find hot, for whatever fucked up DSM-V reasons. Ha.

 

Trent: Do you have any hard limits in erotica that you will write (or have written)? What about limits in erotica that you’ve read? Have you ever had a book squick you so badly that you weren’t able to finish it (or even returned it)?

Sheri: I have what I call the “usual” limits, same as yours. I haven’t had to put anything down because of squickiness, but I’ve been warned off a couple things up front, and I have heeded those warnings because they came from someone I trust (you). That said, I have a couple specific areas I am interested in that I don’t see being done in M/F BDSM erotica. Not to be too mysterious, but I’m going to write it in a story very soon and see how many people I can squick. Blink blink.

 

Trent: I love how open you are about your kinks, how you clearly embrace sexual submissiveness, and enjoy the pleasure to be found in it. Have you ever struggled with your sexual needs or have you always been this sex positive about kink?

Sheri: I guess I’m fairly open. I’m not out in my daily life, like where you’ll see me pumping gas in a leather corset, fishnets, and a collar (Tara in BFD). Professional reasons, but also, I don’t want to be committed to an institution, heh. But I’m “out” in the sense that if, say, someone made a suggestive remark about kink to me, in real life, I would at least waggle my eyebrows up and down like a butthead to signal that I’m kink-friendly in general, and see where it went from there. You can sort of tell when someone is giving you the secret handshake by studying their reactions very closely. Me: “Oh look! Secretary is on cable tonight. Love James Spader in that one. Seen it thirty times already!” Some Person: “Ew! No way would I watch that creepy movie! I heard it’s about perverts!” Me: “Nice meeting you.”

 

Trent: Do your family and friends know you’re kinky? If not, do you think you’d ever “come out” to them about it?

Sheri: Close family, yes, but they know I’m weird in all ways. The whole fam is borderline Addamms-Family eccentric.

 

Trent: What is/are your favorite BDSM activity(s)?

Sheri: The verbal stuff, probably number one — I’m very aurally-oriented. And the mental, the mind fuck. The power exchange. Unnecessary roughness. Hair pulling, crops, canes, insertions, oh God, really? I like all of it. I do. How much time do you have?

Least favorite thing, you didn’t ask, but it’s the use of some of the lingo, in books and reality, that irk: “Scene” and “lifestyle” and all that. Pfft. “SSC! RACK!” I don’t want to be lectured in smut, because, well, it’s fucking smut, not a “how-to” manual. Fiction! Hello? Thank you!

Same with this goofy trend, which I hope will die a horrible violent death soon, of making a huge deal out of “safewords.” Never needed one. Frankly, if you’re “playing” (ugh, that word) with someone who doesn’t already know you well enough to tell when to slow the fuck down or stop, how to read you under all circumstances … well … I mean, RILLY?  ::: shaking head :::

 

Trent: Describe your ideal hero in erotica. How about your ideal heroine?

Sheri: I go for the alpha males, in various forms. Not too particular. And when I say “alpha” I also mean I’ll read dub-con, non-con, son-of-non-con, non-con-in-3D, etc. Bring it. Heroine … I don’t like whining. Usually the ones I relate more to are capable, intelligent, not all timidly submissive. Oh, and total whores of course.

 

Trent: What is your favorite BDSM book? You can give us a list if you can’t narrow it down.J

Sheri: The Joey W. Hill Boardroom series was the first batch of smut I devoured and just loved. And, of course, Anneke Jacob’s books. One particular favorite book, though, isn’t technically a BDSM book at all, but I see it listed a lot in the same “dark reads” area: Break Her by BG Harlen. BG is (presumably) a male author and the book is “controversial.” Oooh. I’m all tingly.

I have NO trouble reading some of the male erotica authors, BTW. Because I love men, my real-life friends are mostly men. Another male erotica author I really like – and have from the start — is this dude Trent Evans. Her Troika and What She’s Looking For are both major favorites. Troika is getting me interested in the “pony play” kink, which I didn’t understand but am starting to see the hawtness of now, oh hell yeah. And no, I’m not just saying this to be a polite blog guest.

 

Trent: Favorite book(s) of all time (any genre)?

Sheri: Oh shit. Way too many, 404 file not found, dude! I read mostly non-fiction. Weird huh? Politics/policy, web development, typography, design, geeky code books. Right now I’m reading a couple books about the porn industry and censorship.

 

Trent: I always love hearing what other authors have on deck. What do you have coming up for future Sheri Savill books?

Sheri: Right now I am writing a BDSM erotic book with … you! And excited about that. Also working on ideas for shorter stories that will be dark dark dark. I’m in a dark mode lately, I think reacting to the censorship we’re seeing. Makes me want to be darker. I’m obstinate that way. And there’s always the possibility of another collaboration with Renee Rose and Emily Tilton — that spanking humor post was a blast.

 

Trent: What’s one thing (or more than one thing) that you want readers to know?

Sheri: A serious answer, for once. As an independent author, I’m doing all this myself, and I’m trying very hard to do a good job. So when fans leave me gushing reviews and ask for more books, well, it just blows me away. You have NO idea. You don’t. Thank you!

 

Trent: What advice would you give to aspiring BDSM erotica or erotic romance writers?

Sheri: The idea of me, a mere n00b, giving … advice? Trent, you slay me. I’ll say … try to get a mentoring relationship if you can; try not to write to the “market;” ignore nasty reviews, and the just plain stupid reviews (“needed beter editting! One star,,,” [sic])  Be what you are, that authentic voice? Always wear clean underwear in case you’re in accident. Don’t be a fuckhead.

 

Trent: Thanks again for letting me pester you with these inane questions, Sheri:)

For those of who haven’t yet taken a look at Sheri’s newest, Bound For Disappointment: A Parody, I highly recommend you check it out. It is gut-bustingly funny. Please read on for links and an excerpt.

 

Buy links:

Amazon US

Amazon UK

B&N

 

Excerpt:

When Tara reached home she opened her laptop and checked her email. There was one marked URGENT, from her editor, Deke:

“Hey, Tara. Our distributors are tightening up some categories for smutty BDSM books. There have been complaints that your stuff is too … hardcore. So we have to be a little more careful. No biggie, just means changing a little wording in your new books, here and there, to adapt. No more references to “cock” “pussy” “fucking” “tits” “ass” “holes” “come” “coming” “wet” “hard” “breathing” “licking” “sucking” “fingers” “smacking” “bruising” “blowing” “moaning” “hot” “touching” “thrusting” “whipping” “caning” “spanking” “toys” and “sex.” I’ll send the full list later.”

“What in the name of FUCK-ALL?!” Tara said aloud, to her pet goldfish Skippy, who was doing a backstroke in his bowl on her desk. Actually he was Skippy 17. She numbered the Skippys now, because she traveled a lot and, well, you know. When she returned from trips it was just a matter of a quick flushing and then on to the next Skippy. Tara knew that people with pets were generally happier and better adjusted overall. Dealing with a string of senseless fish deaths made her better able to handle the stresses of everyday life with grace and aplomb.

“Are these fucking prude-ass distributors on meth!? How am I going to write smut without cocks and pussies and assholes and come? MY STUFF IS TOO HARDCORE?! This is smut, for God’s sake! Smut is supposed to be … SMUTTY!”

The rain pelted the windows. Thunder rolled, rattling the light fixture over her desk. Tara felt a furious bubbling froth of anger rising up from the pit of her stomach. She jumped up and headed to the backyard. She stopped at the shed and grabbed her perfectly-maintained gassed-up chainsaw. She pulled the cord. It started instantly and she charged over wet grass in her five-inch black patent heels in the darkness and heavy rain.

“I’ll show these motherfuckers! TOO HARDCORE?! MY STUFF IS TOO HARDCORE?!?! FUCKING ASSHOLES!” She thought again how having pets allowed her to channel her feelings in healthy ways.

# # #

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Filed Under: Guest Post Tagged With: advice to writers, author interview, BDSM parody, Bound For Disappointment, humor, new humor release, Sheri Savill, smut writing, writing

Winners for Wet & Wild Blog Hop…

May 29, 2013 By Trent Evans

Hello everyone,

The hop was a big success (thanks Skye!!), and there were a lot of great comments. Thank you! Since I hate to pick a winner, I’ve decided that all the commenters on the Wet & Wild post have won:)

So, this weekend all of those commenters will be getting an e-mail from me asking which book they’d like and in what electronic format. Check your spam filters:)

There is no catch, no pitch, no nothing. Just my thanks to you for participating in the hop! Hopefully a few of you were like me and saw their to-be-read piles explode in size ::sigh::

Thanks again everyone, and we’ll see you here next year!

Best,

Trent

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Filed Under: Trent's Thoughts Tagged With: blog hop winners, free books, Skye Warren, success thanks, Trent Evans

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